


Wayfarers

by Oblivion_Wanderer



Category: The Mechanisms (Band)
Genre: Bonding Experiences, Canon-Typical Violence, Found Family, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Let them be friends, Near Death Experiences, Nightmares, Post-Bifrost, Recovery, Regrets, Reunions, Some angst, Time Skips, also takes place after Out, canon typical character death (temporary of course), chapter 5 gets angsty, existential thoughts and thoughts on immortality, forgery and violin crimes so far, look they never gave us lore on the Yggdrasil system so someone has to fill in the blanks, nonbinary Lyf, references to carmilla related stuff, reflecting on lost homes and families and such, the concept of lyf and nastya being friends lives in my head rent free, they're helping each other though, traveling together through space, what crimes will these two commit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-23
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:41:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 40,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24336808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oblivion_Wanderer/pseuds/Oblivion_Wanderer
Summary: Nastya and Lyf meet in the cold of space; Nastya adrift after leaving the Mechanisms and Lyf fleeing from the destruction of the Yggdrasil system. Each feeling lost in their own way, they decide to travel together.
Relationships: Nastya rasputina & lyfrassir Edda
Comments: 160
Kudos: 299
Collections: Stowaways' Shenanigans





	1. The Engineer and The (Former) Inspector

**Author's Note:**

> Or, alternatively titled, Nastya and Lyf traveling together; what crimes will they commit. (no crime yet but that comes later)
> 
> Brought on by an idea I had a while back that involves Lyf finding Nastya while trying to get away from Yggdrasil and bringing her aboard, only to find out she's a Mech, but then they become friends. Also inspired by conversations about Lyf and Nastya being friends.
> 
> Obviously takes place after the events of TBI, but also takes place long after the fiction "Out".

They found her floating in space a week and a half after leaving Hoddmimis.

Lyf had almost thought they were dreaming at first, having dozed off while looking through some star charts and then waking to see this woman out the viewport. She was definitely there though, drifting among the stars. They wonder if this person was from Yggdrasil too and was trying to get away from the consuming nuclear chaos that was unleashed from the Bifrost. Maybe their report had been able to reach someone. But if that was the case, then where was her ship? Had something happened? Why was she out here alone?

That’s when Lyf notices they aren’t wearing any sort of protective gear, or even a re-breather.

They readjust their positioning to get the ship closer to her and head for the airlock. They don’t know how long that woman’s been out there and for all they know they could be just wasting their time (They need to keep moving. Get as far away as they can from Yggdrasil.), but if this is someone who managed to get out of the Yggdrasil system too…

Lyf gets on some protective gear stored near the airlock and attaches themselves to a tether line. They’ve got a small window of time here, but all they have to do is go get her. Even if there’s no point, they have to try.

So they go out, and they grab the woman and pull her back in.

Once the airlock closes, Lyf strips off the protective gear- Gods how do people move in these things? When that’s done, they return their attention to the woman they just brought aboard.

Her glasses are frosted over and there was frost threaded through her unkempt hair; clinging to her clothes. She doesn’t appear to be conscious; eyes closed and skin pale. There’s a symbol sewn onto the sleeve of the coat she wore. Some kind of spaceship? Had she been part of some crew? It’s nothing they recognize as being from Midgard, or the Yggdrasil system in general, but something about it looks so familiar.

Deciding to stop dancing around the point, Lyf hesitantly takes one of her hands- her skin is ice cold- and searches for a pulse at her wrist. They expect to find none-

But there’s a weak and slow beat against their fingertips.

Lyf can’t help but let out a surprised gasp at that. This person was still alive!

“Gods!” They exclaim. “Oh Gods, you’re-”

She must have been out there for an extended amount of time, and she had seemed pretty frozen when they pulled her in. How can she still be alive? By all rights, she should be dead.

But she’s not dead, and Lyf has to help her.

“Okay, okay. Let’s… uh...” They’re not quite sure what to do, but they know there’s a blanket lying around here somewhere. “I’ll get you a blanket; you’re probably cold. Or… maybe I should bring you out of the airlock first.”

Fleeing from Yggdrasil or not, Lyf was going to make sure she was alright. They know all to well as of late how lonely it is to drift through the void of space alone.

* * *

Nastya isn’t sure where she is when she wakes up. It certainly isn’t the cold void, that’s for sure.

She figures she’s on a ship, but it’s not Aurora. She’d know if it was. In any case, who the hell plucked her out of space? She realizes next she’s laying on a cot. There’s a blanket placed over her, but she feels cold still. She’s always cold; she had her mechanism to thank for that.

“Oh.” A quite voice speaks. “You’re awake.”

She props herself up on her elbows. For a second that sounded like- “...Jonny?”

Who she sees is nothing like Jonny. They’re around the same height, but this person has much longer hair; tied back messily into a bun. Their clothes are rumpled, and they look like they hadn’t slept for a few days. Silver eyes like cold stars stared back at her.

“Um, no… We haven’t met before.” They walk over to her and sit down beside the cot, setting down two cups. They help her sit up before handing one to her.

“Thanks.” Nastya mutters, feeling the warmth of the cup in her hands. It’s something warm and drinkable at least. “You have any vodka?”

“I think tea will help more. I made enough for us both, and maybe it’ll warm you up. Helps me a little these days at least.”

She watches as they take a sip of their tea. “Who are you?”

“Lyfrassir Edda.” They say as they set down the cup. “They/them. Former Inspector Second Class of the New Midgard Transport Police. Last...” They pause, and they get a distant, sad look in their eyes. “The last known living person of the Yggdrasil system. You can call me “Lyf” if you want.”

That statement alone let Nastya know this person carried grief in their heart, but she didn’t ask. “Nastya Rasputina. She/her. Engineer of the Aurora and member of the Mechanisms.”

“Is that your crew? I saw the patch on your coat but it’s not one I recognize.”

“Yes, or… they used to be...”

“Oh. Did- you weren’t left out here on your own, were you?”

“I left.”

A silence passes between them, only broken by the hum of the ships’ engines and systems.

“...I see.” Lyf eventually says.

Nastya looks away from them and into her drink, not bothering to see if they understand the implications. She doesn’t want any pity. Her choice to leave was hers and hers alone.

“You’re not from the Yggdrasil system, are you?”

“What was your first clue?” She deadpaned.

“Your accent, for one. It’s none that matches up with anything from Yggdrasil. Your hair isn’t styled or has any braids either. In the Yggdrasil system, especially on my home planet, hair styling was one of our customs. I figured that, if you were from Yggdrasil, unstyled hair meant you might be in mourning, but...”

They trail off, so she decides to speak up instead. “Where are we going?”

“I’m not entirely sure. As long as we can get as far away from the Yggdrasil system as we can. Or what’s left of it anyway.”

“Is that why you’re out here?”

“It’s… It’s a long story that began before I was even born. What about you? If you’re not from Yggdrasil and weren’t fleeing from the Bifrost, then why were you floating around in space?”

“That too is a long story. You didn’t have to bring me onto your ship. Why didn’t you just leave me there?”

Lyf looks at her incredulously. “Why did- I thought you were trying to get away from Yggdrasil too, like I said. Are you saying you’d rather be back out there?”

“What is the worst that happens to me? I die?”

Lyf genuinely looks startled by that response. “Yes!”

“That is no concern to me.”

“What? But-”

Oh God, she was really going to have to say it, wasn’t she. “I cannot die, Lyfrassir.”

That shuts Lyf up. She feels satisfied by their silence.

“...You… can’t die.” Lyf repeats.

Nastya shakes her head. “No, I cannot. None of us can- the others of my crew that I traveled with.”

“How?”

“That’s not a story I feel comfortable sharing.”

No, it’s not. She doesn’t want to think about the person who did this to her; the one who replaced her blood with this cold liquid that keeps her alive. She doesn’t want to think about those days. Yes, she had Jonny then, but those days were filled with nothing but cold and death and experiments.

Lyf, thankfully does not press the subject further. “It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve heard someone make that claim. Don’t know why I’m surprised by you saying it. Wait… When you say that you and the rest of your crew couldn’t die… that didn’t include someone with wings, did it?”

That gets her attention. “Wings?”

“Yes. She always seemed bored, but if you mentioned something scientific in nature she’d go off on a tangent for at least ten minutes.”

That sounded like Raphaella. Did Lyf know her?

“And there was another; a woman with red hair always asking for something to read.” They continued. “She was so analytical. And then there was also- ugh, there was him; the one with that mechanical arm and the stupid hat. He was always trying to play violin at me.”

Ivy and Marius. There was no mistaking it.

“Raphaella, Ivy, and Marius.” Nastya answered.

“Yes! Yes, that’s them! They were being held on my home planet’s capital city, and I was assigned to them eight years ago. They made the same claim of being unable to die, although Marius was more keen on insisting he was a doctor.” Lyf stopped for a moment and looked at Nastya curiously. “Does… does that mean you all are- do you all know each other? Are you associated with them?”

“What else would it mean? We are part of the same crew. We all traveled together.”

Lyf stares, blinks at her, and then slowly gets up.

“Are you okay?”

They walk over to the consoles, leaning on them. “Yes. I just need a moment.”

Nastya continues to drink her tea.

* * *

Another one. There was another… What did she say they called themselves? The Mechanisms? Whatever. Point was, Nastya wasn’t just some random person adrift in space. Now they had _another_ _Mechanism_ aboard the ship with them.

Fucking great.

Well, nothing they could do about it now. Lyf didn’t feel too keen on tossing her back to the void, even if she was a Mechanism, and Nastya seemed more tame than the others they’d known. Quiet like Ivy. They just hoped she didn’t have any magical powers to make violins appear like Marius did. That and hoping she wouldn’t toss them out the airlock and steal their ship

They let out a sigh. “Gods, I can’t believe there’s four of you.”

“Four?” Nastya repeats. “Uh… Lyfrassir, there’s more than four of us, I can assure you. Including myself it’s more like… nine.”

And now they’re internally screaming.

“Lyfrassir?”

They glance up, finding Nastya watching them carefully. They should probably say something.

“I’m… I’m sorry.” They start. “Your… friends proved to be quite the headache back on Midgard.”

“Seems about right.” She agrees. “As you may have guessed, we do not like any form of authority. Especially cops.”

“Does that mean you hate me?”

“I do not know what to think about you yet. You did say “former” though, so I can let it slide. What about you? Am I just as much of a nuisance? I can go back out into space if you want.”

“No, that won’t be necessary. I don’t know what to think about you yet either, but we’re here. We might as well make the most of it… Unless… Unless you want to leave.” After traveling alone for almost two weeks, with nothing but their grief and their nightmares to keep them company, another person to just talk to is enough, even if she’s a Mechanism. Still, Lyf wouldn’t keep her against her will; if Nastya wanted to leave they wouldn’t stop her.

Nastya is quiet, and there’s something in her eyes that makes her look a bit… lost. Unsure maybe.

“...No.” She says after a while.

Lyf manages to smile a little. “Alright. Well… I guess… make yourself at home? I don’t have much here; I charted this ship on short notice and grabbed all I could before leaving Hoddmimis. I’m trying to locate a nearby star system, or any habitable location really, where I can pick up more supplies.”

She nods in understanding. “Very well. As far away from the Yggdrasil system as we can, right? That’s what you said.”

“Yes.” As much as it pains them, that’s what they were trying to do. At this point, they should be far enough away, but Lyf doesn’t know how far that chaos will extend. “If there’s anything you need-”

“Nothing is required, thank you. I will manage.”

Lyf frowns. “Okay. Um… I’m going to go over the star charts again and see what’s nearby.”

They give Nastya some space and go to sit in the pilot’s seat, pulling up the star charts on the consoles. They weren’t lying about eventually needing to stop somewhere for supplies. They got what they could on Hoddmimis, but they could not expect it to last forever, especially with another person aboard now (though if she couldn’t die, if she was immortal, did she need to eat or drink?). After looking through the star charts for a bit, they do come across a star system within range. It would take a week to get to the nearest planet in that system, but it could be done.

Well… traveling with someone who was a Mechanism was going to be interesting.

* * *

First impressions of Lyfrassir Edda...

They were a quiet one, but odd. There was something about them that gave off these weird vibes, though Nastya couldn’t place it. What she knew so far was that they were fleeing from some star system for an undisclosed reason, but given what they had said, Nastya could take a pretty good guess (they mentioned something called "Bifrost"). She was actually more surprised Lyf had encountered her friends/crew/immortal murder pirate family she used to travel with and lived to tell the tale. They did mention those three had been held in a prison though, so…

She’s taken from her thoughts when Lyf speaks again. “I’ve found a planet in a nearby system we can stop at.” They stand from the chair they were sat at and turned to her. “It’ll take about a week.”

“Do you have enough fuel and supplies to reach it?”

“I believe so. I need to recalculate and ration between the two of us- unless you don’t need to eat or drink?”

“My immortality grants me advanced regeneration and death for me is only temporary. I don’t necessarily need anything like food, but my body can still starve.”

“I guess that answers that question. In any case, I’ll make sure to get enough for us both if we’re going to be traveling together. Plus I need to get fuel for the ship.”

“For you, that would be wise.” Nastya says. Lyf’s mortal, so it’s only understandable that they take into account their own needs. She would be okay, being immortal and all. She could take care of herself.

“Yes, for me it would. I may have escaped one disaster already, but I would rather not starve in the void.”

She’s not entirely sure what they mean (though it plays into her theories), but she goes along with it, giving an acknowledging nod.

But when Lyf speaks, she thinks, just for a moment, she sees a rainbow shine in their eyes. It was a momentary thing, but she could have sworn there was something there.

Without thinking Nastya asks, “What’s wrong with your eyes?”

The reaction is instant, and they flinch at her words.

“That’s… Uh…” They look away, anxiety evident in their features. “I-I noticed that the other day. My eyes were brown before, but now… now they’re not. I’m not sure sure what caused it, but I have an idea. There’s nothing really wrong with them; I can still see. The color of them has changed is all.”

“Oh.”

“Yes.” They still don’t meet her eyes, and she wonders if she made them uncomfortable by asking that question. “I… I’m going to go try and get some sleep. Please don’t kill me and steal my ship.”

Lyf leaves without another word and once again Nastya is alone.

‘ _Strange’_ She thinks. She wonders what could have happened to cause their eyes to change color; that kind of phenomena sounded like something Raphaella would like to investigate. But she wasn’t here, was she? None of them were.

It was just Nastya and Lyf.

She finishes her tea and lays back down on the cot, trying to cocoon herself in the blanket as much as she can. When she left the Aurora and tossed herself out into space, this was not how she expected things to turn out. Then again, it wasn’t too far out of the question that some passing ship may pick her up. Being out in the cold void of space also got very boring… and was very, very cold. At the very least, she could catch a ride with Lyf to wherever they were going. Nastya didn’t really care where she went.

So for the time being, she’ll stay until she decides what to do with herself. She won’t kill Lyf to steal their ship or anything, they seemed harmless; just a lost traveler.

In a way, wasn’t she a lost traveler as well…?


	2. We're Just Trying Our Best

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Moments of travel as Nastya and Lyf get accustomed to one another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so pleased with the reactions this has gotten so far. I'm glad you guys like it ^^
> 
> (also mild emetophobia warning in here too; it's brief and not that much described, but just putting this here just in case.)

It’s a night (Night? Day? Whatever time it was) where Lyf cannot find sleep. They haven’t been able to sleep well since leaving Yggdrasil in general; their dreams haunted and plagued by swirling colors and the madness of the things they saw in the Black Box recordings. Logically, they know what they saw in the Black Box, not to mention having your own world destroyed by the things from between spaces, left it’s mark on them. It’s only to be expected their trauma would choose to manifest in nightmares that left them unable to sleep.

Their intention is to go over to the ship’s small kitchen and make up some tea to hopefully calm their nerves. As they pass through the bridge though, they can’t help but notice something.

Nastya isn’t here.

Now, this really shouldn’t register as odd. They’d been traveling together for a couple days now, on the way to somewhere to pick up more supplies. In that time they had noticed Nastya was a person who tended to keep to herself. Often times they had found her in random corners of the ship, studying schematics and star charts. If she wasn’t hiding out somewhere, then she tended to stay near or at the bridge. They shouldn’t be surprised to not find her here now.

Though all her stuff was gone; the cot, the blanket, all her materials she had asked for to study. To Lyf’s dazed mind, it made them worry that maybe they had just imagined Nastya. That they had imagined her and that they were still alone.

Oh, wait. No, her boots were still here, set near the consoles.

Lyf goes over and picks them up. They were heavy for boots; must be steel toe. Why would these be here, but not Nastya herself?

With the boots in hand, they set about looking for Nastya. It’s not a big ship, big enough for three people at most, so she has to be around here somewhere. They check her usual hiding spots first, and then one of the spare rooms. They don’t find her in either.

(It crosses their mind that maybe she’s gone back out to the void and they just haven’t noticed till now)

It’s when Lyf passes by the engine room though, that they see the door is cracked open. They don’t recall it ever being like that before, having no reason to really go in there at all. And considering there’s only one other person aboard…

Lyf pushes open the door, and the first thing they note is that it’s warmer here than the rest of the ship. They shouldn’t be surprised by this; it is the engine room, it’s going to be warmer in here just on principle. As they walk further into the room, they note something else.

Near a large piece of machinery is Nastya; curled up on the floor with the blanket Lyf had given her when they had brought her aboard. Her schematics and star charts she had been examining are next to her too and she’s at least got a pillow under her head. She looks so much smaller like this for some reason, when really she’s only a couple inches taller than them. Why is she here though? That can’t be comfortable.

They set down the boots as gently as they could and kneel down next to her. “Nastya?”

Her face scrunches up, but she doesn’t open her eyes. Only when they call her name again, does she actually stir.

She gives them a sleepy glare. “What is it, Lyfrassir?”

“Er… I, uh- I found your boots.” Sure. Great way to open a conversation, Lyf. “Why are you here in the engine room?”

She pulls the blanket closer around herself and buries her face into the pillow. “It’s warm here.”

Well, okay, she was at least right about that. Lyf had been feeling cold before, but stepping into this room did make them feel slightly less so.

“But there are extra rooms here; you could take one of those. This ship was designed for a crew of up to three people. I’m sure an actual bed would be more comfortable than the floor-”

“I’m cold.”

Lyf frowned at that. Now that they thought about it, in the few interactions they’ve had with Nastya since she joined them, they’d noticed that she had been shivering. They’d been concerned about it, but didn’t think much of it at the time.

“You’re cold.” Lyf repeated. “So you came here…?”

They see her nod, and she lifts her head a little from the pillow. “I like being here. It makes me feel less cold.”

“Yes, I can see that. You look more relaxed. On your old ship, was there a place like this too? That made you feel more warm, I mean.”

“Of course; engineering. I could work there, it was warm… My love was there.”

That tugs at Lyf’s heart more than it should. “Your partner was a Mechanism too?”

Nastya laughs, but it’s hollow. “Aurora. She is the ship.”

Lyf has to take a second to process that. “The… ship?”

“Aurora is sentient. I have known her, loved her, since the day I woke up there.”

They don’t know what to say to that. Lyf doesn’t know why Nastya left her old crew, and her partner, but she sounds sad at the mention of them.

“Do you miss her? Aurora.”

“Yes… but she is not there anymore. She is not the Aurora I know.”

“Did something happen?”

Nastya doesn’t say anything; just looks away. Lyf takes that as their cue to stop with this conversation. The last thing they want to do is upset her.

“It is late. What are you doing up?” Nastya suddenly asks, probably just to change the subject.

“Can’t sleep.” They reply. “Not like I sleep much these days.”

“Mm, I know how it is. Bad dream?”

“Uh, no- It’s-” They don’t want to talk about it; about the things they see in their dreams. About what lurks at the edges of their subconscious. About how they don’t feel right. “I just can’t sleep.”

“Right.”

“I suppose I should leave you to sleep. Are you sure you’re comfortable like this?”

“It will do.”

“Hm.” Lyf gets up from the floor. “I’m just going to make myself some tea. I… hope you sleep well…?”

“Thank you. May you find sleep as well.” Nastya says before turning over away from them and settling back down.

Lyf leaves her to her rest and exits the engine room, heading back toward the kitchen to make themself tea. It should be concerning that Nastya has started hanging out in the engine room, but she seems perfectly content there. And that might actually be a good thing; she’s an engineer. If anything starts to go wrong, she might be the first to notice, and between the two of them be the most qualified to fix any mechanical issues.

They assume it’s fine and go off to make tea, trying to shake off their own shivers that run through them.

* * *

Nastya figures that, if she’s going to be traveling with Lyf for… for however long she decides to, she should at least know the layout of the ship; mechanically speaking.

One of the first things she had done the day after being brought aboard was ask Lyf for any schematics of the ship. She may not be with the Mechanisms anymore, but she still can put her engineering skills to use. Of course, this ship was nothing like the Aurora, but she could learn.

She’s currently heading to the bridge to inspect the various systems of the ship and evaluate them for any issues. She’s walking by the few living quarters that exist here, when a noise makes her stop. The sounds of troubled breathing. She can just barely make it out, but she can hear it. That and the door of the room she’s stopped in front of is cracked open. No light comes from inside.

‘ _Lyfrassir?’_ She wonders.

Nastya remembers Lyf mentioning something about not being able sleeping well, however she got the sense there was more to it then they let on. Lyf was clearly not willing to talk about it, which, okay that was fair. The only person she had really talked to about any of her own troubles was Jonny, but there was history there. She had talked to Aurora plenty of times too, whispering to her as she hid in air vents. Aside from those situations, she didn’t often talk about the deeper things that troubled her, and none of the other Mechs did half the time either.

She thinks she should leave Lyf be, it’s none of her business, but then she hears sounds of stumbling footsteps moving across the floor, and a moment later the sounds of someone being sick.

Nastya shakes her head and pushes the door open. Lyf was still mortal; she should at least check on them.

It’s dark in the room, of course, but she does see a light coming from what she assumes is the bathroom. She pushes a button for the room lights, and then, carefully as to not startle, Nastya goes over to the other room. There, she finds Lyf, hunched over the toilet as they retch into it; their body shuddering with each gasp. She can’t necessarily see their face since their long hair is obscuring it, but she doesn’t have to see their face to know they’re aren’t well.

They haven’t seemed to notice her presence yet, so she waits till their heaves and spasms have calmed down to speak.

“Lyfrassir?”

Lyf flinches, and slowly lifts their head up. There are tears down their face and their eyes look glassy; dazed. Strands of their hair stick to their face. “Nastya...”

“Are you ill?” She asks, still standing in the doorway.

They blink at her, and then laugh, but it’s forced. “Technically, I haven’t been well for quite some time.” They push their hair from their face. “No… No, I’m not sick. I had a nightmare. They can leave me feeling quite... shaken.”

Nightmares… She knows all about those.

She moves forward and kneel down next to Lyf. They still look like they might be sick again, and she can see their shoulders shake.

“Do you need anything? I can pull your hair back if you’re going to be-”

“No!”

The sudden protest surprises Nastya, as well as when they scramble away from her. They don’t go far, only moving a few feet away.

“I’m… sorry?” Nastya says, confusion in her voice.

Lyf lets out a shaky breath. “N-No. I- It’s- I’m sorry. I just...” And another. “Where I come from- the Yggdrasil system- we have certain customs. So, you see- touching someone’s hair- the act of touching someone’s hair, or styling it, is usually only for close friends, family, and lovers.”

“Ah. I see...” That would explain why they reacted like they did, because they thought she was going to touch their hair. Certainly an odd one, but she’d respect it. “Are you going to be okay?”

Lyf relaxes a little. “This happens when I have a nightmare sometimes, when it’s really bad, but I think the worst of it’s passed. I’ll be okay.”

They both sit there in silence for a few minutes, until Lyf tries to get up. They’re struggling to get to their feet, so Nastya decides to intervene.

“Lyfrassir, I’d like to help you up.” She informs them. “Is it okay to touch you?”

They look her over, and they give a nod, holding out their hand. Nastya carefully takes it, helping them up and then gripping their arm to help stabilize them. She walks with them out of the bathroom and back to their bed.

“Lay down.” She instructs when they’re back in their bed. Lyf does so, pulling a quilt over themself, and curling up on their side. Nastya just sits on the edge of the bed, watching them.

She’s not entirely sure what to do for them besides just be there. The only other time she had been in this situation was when it was just her and Jonny; when they were both still subjected to _that person’s_ experiments. She remembers. She remembers, back in those darker days, waking up shivering and with tears in her eyes after a nightmare; the only thing anchoring her being a hand on her shoulder. She also remembers the times Jonny would wake up screaming because he had dreamed someone was messing with his mechanism. She would sit with Jonny while he complained about the ticking of his metal heart, and he would do the same for her while she shook from the cold that ran through her veins.

“I’m sorry you had to see me like that.” Lyf mutters.

“It’s okay.” She says. It’s all she can think to say, really. “These things happen. We’ve all been there.”

“Right...” They sigh. “I just want to rest… but of course the Bifrost has to twist up that too.”

There was that word again; “Bifrost”. Nastya adds that to her theories. From what she could tell, something really, really bad happened. Something bad enough to leave Lyf as the last remaining person of their home, as they had claimed. Maybe some kind of disaster, the likes of which appeared to have affected Lyf considerably. It had something to do with this “Bifrost” though, whatever it was.

She looks back at Lyf, seeing that they’re still shaking.

“I will get you some water.”

Nastya finds a glass already sitting on a side table by the bed and fills it with water from the bathroom sink. She returns to give it to Lyf, but sees they haven’t really moved much, so she sets it back where she found it. Their shaking seems to have calmed down a bit though, and now they just look drained.

By this point, the silence between them is starting to become a bit awkward, and Nastya gets the sense she should just let them be.

“I’ll get back to evaluating the ship’s systems.” She informs Lyf. She doesn’t really know what else she can say to them while they’re like this.

She shuts the lights off and leaves without another word.

* * *

“Well?”

Nastya stands before them, dust and oil dirtying her clothes from messing about with various machinery. Her hair is tied back, though some of it’s come loose now. She’s been working on the engines and various other machinery on the ship for the past few hours after something started to cause problems with the engines. Lyf’s rather impressed by her skill. They have a tiny bit of knowledge on ship maintenance as part of training for their former job, but climbing about all the machinery and tinkering with the engines seems to come so naturally to Nastya. Then again, she said she was an engineer, and however long she’s been alive must have given her plenty of time to learn how to be such.

“I’ve managed to get things patched up for now.” She says, tossing a wrench to the side. Lyf winces at the noise it makes. “I’m afraid it will not hold us forever. We need to land somewhere and get proper materials.”

“We’re two days out from our charted destination.” Lyf points out. “Will we be fine until then?”

“Theoretically, yes. I would like to get this fixed sooner rather than later, as I am worried about some systems malfunctioning and cause a total cascade failure or something going wrong with the engines again.” She wipes her hands on her coat and picks up a datapad she had set by her tools. “I double checked the star charts. We may have just crossed into this star system yesterday, but there seems to be something near our position. It’s closer than the original destination you had in mind.”

She had a point. This ship was an older model, though at the time Lyf hadn’t cared, so long as it could get them away from the unfolding rainbow chaos.

“Is it habitable?”

“According to what I could connect to via the ship’s computers, yes.”

“Okay then. I’ll set a course for it. Hopefully we can pick up more than just spare parts here.”

Lyf finds the place Nastya was talking about, a small planet half a day’s travel from their current position, and sets a course for it. Nastya stays in the engine room for nearly the entire time, keeping watch over the engines they assume. They leave her be, figuring if something starts to go wrong, she’ll be the first to know.

* * *

When they touch down on the planet, which is really just a small colony with a bustling market, Lyf steps out of the ship to find cloudy skies and a light rainfall starting. It gives them a bittersweet feeling; it had been raining too when they fled Midgard.

“So, where should we start?” Lyf asks.

“Find somewhere that sells the parts/tools we need or find a shipyard we can do some salvage at.” Nastya replies. Lyf sees a shiver pass through her, making them frown. She really was cold all the time.

“Both are options. After we get that taken care of we can see about getting more supplies.” It’s only then that Lyf realizes they have another problem. “Wait, Nastya- this isn’t going to work.”

“What do you mean?” She looks at them as if they’ve said something stupid.

“I have some currency left, but I doubt it will work here.”

“Can’t you just get it exchanged?”

“In my own system, yes, but outside it is a different story. It’s also dependent on if another star system will freely convert currency from one that is not their own.”

Nastya appears to think on this for a moment, but then takes something from the inside pocket of her coat.

“We can try to get it exchanged. If that does not work, I have something that might do the trick.” Nastya shows them a small device that fits squarely in her palm. “I forgot I had this in my coat for whenever we went planetside. I don’t know if it was damaged from being out in space, but the long story short is that this was modified by Ashes for situations just like this.”

Lyf doesn’t know who Ashes is, probably another Mech. “How does it work?”

“We get a sample of the currency used here first. Then we use the device to easily convert your currency and have it match the sample.”

At least it was somewhat of an alternative. It sounded more like forgery, but Lyf’s willing to go along with it if it will keep them going. It doesn’t seem to matter much anymore.

They make their way into the market without much trouble, and Lyf locates somewhere to try and get what currency they had left converted. As predicted, however, it didn’t work. Now they had to resort to Nastya’s plan. Unfortunately she seemed to have wandered off.

When Lyf found her again after wandering around for about 5 minutes, Nastya merely showed them a single coin she had somehow acquired. She then dragged them to an alleyway and used the device she had in her coat, which did still seem to be working. She scanned the coin and then took Lyf's currency card. After some fiddling with the device, she handed the card back to Lyf.

“There. All done. Your currency now matches this planet’s and will provide you with the necessary funds for the next 24 hours.” Nastya informed them, putting the device back in her coat pocket.

“That’s all the time we need, I hope.” Lyf says, looking over their currency card with skepticism. “I think I saw someplace earlier that might have some ship parts.”

“Good. Let’s go.”

Nastya was quick to point out what they should get and what she needed to help her do better repairs for their ship. Lyf made a mental note to ask her at some point to teach her some of the things she knew, just so they could provide another pair of hands to help for any future repairs.

Once the necessary parts and tools were acquired and sent back to the ship, the next step was to get some supplies. While they were at it, Lyf also took the opportunity to get a few sets of clothes for themself. They’d barely had time to grab anything from home and stuff it into a suitcase before leaving. They hadn’t known how much time they had before the Bifrost took everything. Here they were though. He did see Nastya pick out a couple coats and scarves; stuff to keep her warm.

Upon returning to the ship, they got everything sorted and Nastya took what she needed back with her to the engine room. They took off shortly after and Lyf retired to their room to try and sleep off a headache that had come on when they were returning from the market. There was a concern of nightmares making things worse, but that was nothing new at this point, and they really needed to lie down.

As they curled up in their bed, covered by the quilt their mothers had made them, they hoped Nastya was having an easier time with repairs.

* * *

One thing that Nastya managed to pick up from that colony market was a violin. She’d seen it sitting in a booth when she was helping Lyf gather supplies.

The sight of it had made a wave of nostalgia wash over her. As a child, she had been taught violin; her parents thinking it was fitting for a princess. She never forgot it, even after her mechanization at _her_ hands. Violin was Nastya’s instrument of choice in the band, though she would alternate with Marius depending on the mood and story. Those were some of her favorite memories, playing out a story with the rest of them. Those were memories she was fond of.

So, while Lyf was distracted by looking through some clothes, Nastya snuck away and made off with the violin (and by “made off with”, she just stole it from the booth when no one was looking).

Now, she sits on a table in the ship’s tiny kitchen area, reveling the feel of a violin in her hands once more. She would have stayed in the engine room where she could be warm, but the noise of the engines would make it hard to hear. She needed to hear the sound.

Nastya placed the bow down upon the strings, and began to play a tune she still remembered. It wasn’t anything from the stories she and the others played, but just a random tune she remembered hearing somewhere.

It feels good; to hold the violin, to feel the strings under her fingers, to hear the melodies she drags from it, to know she hasn’t forgotten how to play it.

She plays for a while, losing herself in songs and memories, until someone else comes along.

“Oh, hey, Nastya.” Lyf greets, rubbing their eyes. Nastya is broken from her trance when they speak and stops playing. “This is going to sound mad, but did you happen to hear-”

And they stop talking the moment they see the violin in Nastya’s hands.

“Oh no.” They mutter after a prolonged silence. “No- you play violin too?”

“I’ve always played violin.”

She readjusts her grip on the instrument and begins to play again. The moment she gets the first notes out, she sees Lyf flinch, make an expression as if they’ve eaten something sour, and snatch the it from her hands.

She looks at them, puzzled and slightly offended. Lyf stares at her, looks at the instrument in their hands, and then visibly relaxes.

“Where did you even get that violin?” They say with exasperation.

“Stole it while we were at that market.” She explains. “You were distracted by looking at clothes. Can I have it back?” When she has the violin back, she takes the bow and taps the top of Lyf’s head. “That’s for taking it from me mid-note.”

“Ow. I’m sorry- force of habit… A bit of deja vu there too.”

“How so?”

“That was… was one of the last things I said to Marius; before everything fell apart. Marius somehow kept making violins appear at will, usually when I was around, and I would have to confiscate them from him. Unfortunately this resulted in quite a few violins piled in my office, which became a running joke around the station.”

“Sounds like something about you interested him.”

Lyf scoffs. “Doubt it. He just liked to annoy me.”

“That could also be true. Marius is...” She lets out a chuckle. “He’s always been the more energetic of us, but he can be childish at times. Not as much as Jonny, but still.”

“Jonny...” They repeat the name. “You called me that before. Another Mechanism, I take it?”

“Yes. He is the most dramatic of us. He likes to call himself the captain, but really he’s just the first mate. Our ship does not have a captain, but we really do not need one. Doesn’t stop him from calling himself that though. The reason I mistook you for him when I woke up here is because your voice sounds similar to his.”

“What? That’s not- How do we sound similar?”

“There’s a difference- yours has a slight accent that differs from Jonny, but at a baseline there is some similarity.”

“I don’t know whether I should feel complimented or weirded out. Or annoyed.” They take a seat at the table. “I’ve been wondering… If it’s not too much of a personal question, what were the rest of your crew like? Aside from those I know.”

She almost doesn’t, but she’s in a nostalgic mood.

“Sure.”

* * *

As it turned out, the group Nastya used to travel with was just as chaotic as the three they’d known on Midgard. Hel, they’d probably been somewhere else in the Yggdrasil system at the time, doing Gods knew what. That certainly would explain a few of the weirder cases that had made their way to Lyf during the years before the Ratatosk case was given to them.

They were already acquainted with three of the Mechanisms (four if you counted Nastya), but they listened as Nastya talked about them all. She seemed to focus on the… less than great aspects, sort of teasing and poking fun at them, but there was a hint of fondness in her voice.

She spoke of Jonny, the one who always insisted on being called “captain”. Dramatic, quick to temper, but the one Nastya had known the longest.

Brian, the pilot. A relatively quiet and kind member of the group. However, he apparently had a “morality switch”, and that has to be one of the most messed up things Lyf has heard.

Tim, the gunner and master of arms. Just as violent as Jonny (the two went hand in hand and apparently had spent time together during some “moon war”), but he was a good aim in a gunfight.

Ashes; quartermaster. Apparently Ashes had a thing for fire and burning things; a master at arson. They also apparently rarely lost when it came to card games.

Then there was the Toy Solider. According to Nastya it wasn’t really alive and sort of just followed the group around, following an order to the letter. Toy Solider would always state that it was “happy to be involved” and was always in a joyful mood.

An interesting group of people for sure. All of them were immortal and traveled together, played in the same band together, committed crimes together. Lyf finds themselves fortunate they hadn’t encountered all the Mechanisms at once when everything was still fine; that would have driven them up a wall for sure. They can’t imagine what all of them together in one room would be like.

As Lyf listens though- Nastya has shifted to a story about Jonny and a weird pair of roller skates- they can’t help but wonder something.

When Lyf had first asked Nastya about the Mechs and why she was adrift in space, she simply had said that she left. Now, to Lyf, the obvious answer was that she left them, for one reason or another. While it sounded like living with the Mechs was a mess in general, it sounded like Nastya had at least some good memories of them. They don’t think they just decided to toss her out into space; being immortal, as she claim, kind of defeated the purpose. From her tone too at the time, it was evident she had left on her own.

They felt asking her about it would be rude, as she had said in no uncertain terms that it was a “long story”, which to Lyf made it clear she didn’t want to talk about it. Still, Lyf could not help but wonder.

What exactly had happened to make her leave people (as well as her partner) that she had traveled with for such a long time? Was there some sort of disagreement? Had something happened between her and Aurora (she mentioned her partner was not the same as she once was)?

In any case, they listen, knowing it’s not their place to ask. Nastya talks about them like this, and yet… she sounds like she misses them all.

Lyf can relate.


	3. Reveries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lyf and Nastya reflect on their respective homes and families; what they've lost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aka, the one where I make up lore on Yggdrasil. Also I don't know much about Cyberia, so I just pulled some stuff from what few bits I could find.
> 
> ALSO- I borrowed some bits for lore off an acquaintance in the mechs discord for this chapter, so shoutout to them for showing me their lore they made up.
> 
> This chapter in particular is inspired by the song Reveries from the S1 Westworld soundtrack (which is also where the chapter name comes from), and also the song Reflection from the Hollow Knight soundtrack

It’s one of those days where a certain thread of homesickness and grief winds itself around Lyf’s heart.

When they had left Midgard, panicked and desperate to escape the Bifrost that had started to bleed into their world, they had only left their report as a warning. They hadn’t told anyone they were leaving. This included Lyf’s family. Lyf mourned for the loss of their world- an entire star system with its history and culture and many people just _gone_ \- and all they knew, but they also mourned for the loss of their family.

All they had left was the ring they wore on their finger; their family ring given to them by their mothers. That, the quit made by their mothers, and a single picture; worn and rumpled from being folded up and stuffed into the pocket of their trousers.

They look at the photo now as they sit in the pilot’s seat on the bridge. They run their fingers over the photo reverently, trying to remember the faces of their sister and their mothers, trying to commit their faces to memory so they don’t forget. After they had left Hodmimis, they had said a funeral prayer for their family, and then promptly broke down crying.

And now Lyf feels tears come to their eyes again, knowing that their family were lost to the chaos of the Bifrost.

“There you are.” Nastya’s voice calls from behind them. They hadn’t heard her enter the room. “You said you wanted me to show you the basics of engine repair.” A pause. Her footsteps come around to the side. “Lyfrassir? You’re crying...”

They drag their gaze from the photo and wipe their tears away. “I’m sorry… I’m feeling a bit homesick.”

They see her eyes drift to the photo in their hand. “Does it have to do with that photo?”

“Yes; one of the few things I grabbed before leaving Midgard.” They give a shaky smile and show it to Nastya. “It’s a picture of me and my family, after I started my job with the New Midgard Transport Police. The one on my left is my sister, Lisbeth. The others are my mothers; Ingrid and Vilja.”

She leans in to look at the photo. “You seem much happier here, Lyfrassir, and your hair is done up all fancy.”

“Styling one’s hair, usually with braids, is common practice in the Yggdrasil system. Unstyled hair is usually used by those in mourning.”

“But your hair isn’t styled at all. You wear it up sometimes, but-” She cuts herself off, and Lyf can see she realizes the point. “Your family is gone.”

They sadly nod. “Dead or worse.”

“Then I am sorry for your loss.” She takes the seat next to them, leaning her head back. “My family is dead too, the one I had before I became as I am now. I understand the pain of it.”

It was slightly comforting to know Nastya understood, to a degree because Lyf’s sorrow stretched further than that.

“Do you miss them?”

Nastya looks solemn; lost. “It has been a long, long time. I can scarcely remember them, my parents, and the things I realized about them towards the end cloud those memories. However, on the rare occasion, I do feel some sort of sadness for their absence.”

“I understand.” Lyf says.

She turns to them. “I have been many places, but I do not believe I know anything of Yggdrasil. Would you tell me?”

“I… can.” Lyf would actually love to tell Nastya about Yggdrasil. They’ve become more comfortable with her over the couple weeks since they found her drifting frozen through space, and she’s pleasant enough conversation. Also, Lyf was willing to tell her because then it means that someone else knows; they know Yggdrasil existed. “Any particular reason you ask?”

“Curiosity.”

“Oh. Well.” Lyf folds up the photo and tucks it back into their pocket. “I guess I should start by explaining the base structure of the Yggdrasil system. Yggdrasil is made up of nine planets, divided into three sectors.

“The first sector, consists of Asgard, Vanaheim, and Alfheim. Asgard, closest to our star Valhöll, was home to our system’s royalty, the Aesir, and for the most part our ruling government. Asgard and Vanaheim were bitter rivals, often in conflict with each other. Alfheim, meanwhile, always tried to stay neutral; reluctant to do anything for either. They had their own problems with Svartalfheim to deal with anyway.

“There’s the second sector; Midgard, Jotunheim, Svartalfheim, and Muspelheim. I was born on Midgard, and my planet was always in good relations with Jotunheim, the largest planet in our system. Svartalfheim was our smallest planet, established after a conflict within Alfheim’s population. Muspelheim I never knew much about aside from their hot summers, though I believe it was a labor camp at one point.

“Finally, there is the third sector; Niflheim and Hel. Niflheim is the furthest planet from Valhöll, and is cold most of the time. On the other hand, you have Hel, which is a planet, yes, but also a prison colony.”

“A fairly big system.” Nastya commented. “Sounds like there were tensions between some of your worlds.”

“Yes. Most of it came from Odin’s reign.” Lyf continues to explain. “She was one of the Aesir and ruled over Asgard for nearly a century; 92 years I believe. She wanted to rule over all of Yggdrasil. She started with Vanaheim, which only worsened their strained relations. She had something against Jotunheim for some reason, to the point where Jotunheim cut off all contact with Asgard. She even tried to arrange multiple political marriages to gain their loyalty. As for Midgard, well… She tried to impose a harsh regime upon my home planet after Vanaheim, which resulted in a revolution against Asgard. It ended abruptly when a train disappeared during its maiden voyage, which had most of the Asgardian government on it.”

“What happened after the revolution?”

“A period of reconstruction. My mothers grew up in the revolution, but me and Lisbeth were born after its end, when my planet was still trying to rebuild and heal. The city we lived in, New Midgard, was the capital city of my planet and renamed such to symbolize new beginnings. To show that we were alive; that the efforts of those who fought in the revolution did not go unnoticed.”

Lyf remembers the stories from his mothers. They grew up learning about the things that Odin did during her rule, but their mother’s stories made it seem only more real. Lyf and their sister lived in the aftermath, with everything in shambles. It didn’t help that the disappearance of the ruling Asgardian government left everything a bit of a mess, but Lyf knew the truth behind the missing train now.

“I cannot imagine what that was like for you.” Nastya says, sounding oddly thoughtful. “Or for your mothers who clearly lived through the revolution.”

“I only have stories from my mothers, and what I learned in my teachings. To know my mothers grew up during that time, had to live through that… Well, they found each other in the end. As for me and Lisbeth- we were born into a world shattered by revolution. When Odin and the majority of the Asgardian government vanished, there was a bit of chaos on Midgard because Odin had turned it into a martial state, to make an example of us. Midgard was left in a delicate position because of that gap. Eventually there was some sort of governing system set up, but still- rebuilding was never going to be easy.”

“After being freed from a tyrannical ruler? No, I can’t imagine it would be. It sounds like they were not used to their new freedom; conditioned to being under Odin’s control.”

“No, they weren’t.” Lyf scowls at the thought; of remembering Odin. “I hate Odin for what she did to Midgard and the rest of Yggdrasil. I cannot believe there were actually people left in our population that supported Odin. I may or may not have punched someone once who would not shut up about her.”

Nastya smiles. “Got some secret fire to you.”

“No, that’s more accurate for my sister. Lisbeth, curious and scientifically minded as she was, was very vocal for Midgard’s independence whenever issues like this came up. Yes, Midgard was free from Asgardian rule, but still, we had people who still supported Odin and the Old Order still hanging around. In any case, while my family was not in a terrible position overall, we weren’t the most well off either. Life was hard for us at times. We still found a way forward though. I eventually took my job with the New Midgard Transport Police, which was a horrid job, looking back on it. That was where I met your friends; Marius, Raphaella, and Ivy. As time passed, Midgard slowly found its footing, spent years rebuilding, and then...”

They trail off, their story now bringing them back full circle to the Bifrost. Lyf remembers when they were presented with the Black Box, and suddenly they’re remembering watching the recordings, hearing the invocation in the moment everything derailed, every single squamous thing they saw overtake the train, everything falling into madness.

They shudder, remembering it all.

“Lyfrassir?”

Nastya’s call drags them back. She looks… concerned. They should probably say something.

“I… I was assigned to review the Black Box, an artifact from the train that disappeared.”

“The one you said disappeared with the Asgardian government on it?”

“Yes.” They confirmed. “It had happened 80 years prior. The train had disappeared in a man-made wormhole called the Bifrost, which was supposed to serve as a quicker method of transport between planets. I found out why after Ivy repaired the Black Box, but… I discovered something that’s still burned into my very soul to this day.”

“This “Bifrost”… It has to do with why you left, doesn’t it.”

Lyf nodded sadly. “Odin’s train had a greater purpose; it was the catalyst that brought the destruction of Yggdrasil from the Bifrost. By the time I realized what was going on, it was far too late. Only a matter of time. I panicked and left. I left my report as a warning, but I doubt it reached anyone. I heard the screams of dying transmissions as I fled. They had no time, and I just- I am certain I’m the only one left now.”

They look away from Nastya, choosing instead to look at the ring on their hand. When they had been given the ring, one of their mothers (Ingrid) had explained that the symbol engraved on it was a sort of compass; a symbol to always find one’s way in life, to keep one from getting lost. However, with everything they knew gone, including their family, Lyf was feeling pretty lost as of late. Not even the compass engraved on the ring could help with that.

* * *

Lyf hasn’t spoken in a few minutes, not like Nastya can blame them.

She wasn’t far off on her theories; some kind of disaster had happened resulting in the destruction of the Yggdrasil system. The Bifrost, as it turned out, was a wormhole meant for travel. Something from between spaces, from the Bifrost, had leaked into Yggdrasil through Midgard and destroyed it. Lyf had seen what was coming and had gotten away in time, but now they carried the burden of being the only person of Yggdrasil still alive.

She knows what it’s like to be the only one left.

Nastya reaches over and taps their shoulder. They flinch, but meet her eyes.

“Would it help if I talk about my home?” She quietly asked. “Before I became immortal.”

“…I mean, if you want to. I wouldn’t mind.”

“It’s alright.” She insists. She hasn’t spoken about Cyberia in a long, long time. However, Lyf so freely shared details of their own home. It was only fair she returned the favor. Plus, she wanted them to know she understood, though what happened on Cyberia wasn’t because of some cosmic horror. “Did you know I used to be a princess?”

“You were a princess?”

“Yes, do not make a big deal of it. My name back then was Anastasia Romanova. I lived in a place known as Cyberia, and it was ruled over by my father, the Tsar. I’ve long since forgotten his actual name. Ironically, I never knew much about Cyberia outside the palace walls. I was taught the history of Cyberia, yes; how it passed from leader to leader until my father took the position of Tsar. I was taught that Cyberia had a history of conflict, but to be proud of our heritage. It was a cold place at times, but I loved my home. I still remember the winters, of watching the snow as it fell over the capital.

“My family lived in the capital of Cyberia, where they owned a grand palace. I was born there, raised there. If you’re wondering what my life was like, there’s nothing much of interest to tell. It was a rather dull existence; expected to behave like a good little princess and do everything a princess was supposed to do. At least I became well practiced with a violin. It was my mother’s idea, on the basis that I should know an instrument. I hated the idea at first, but I actually like the violin. That still doesn’t excuse the fact I was blind to everything else going on around me; the truth my parents hid from me.”

“Sounds kind of lonely.” Lyf comments.

“It was.” She agrees with a sigh. “I had my family, but they were all wrapped up in other matters a majority of the time. I had my tutors, but their presence always bored me. All I knew was life inside the palace, never anything else. I wonder if that was expected of me too.”

“So, what was it your family was trying to hide from you?”

“One cold winter’s day, I caught word of a movement that had been sweeping through Cyberia, swarming in the capital, where I lived. That was the first time I heard the word- revolution. The movement was a revolution against my father’s rule. I foolishly told my mother, and she forbid me to speak any more of it. So you see, when you spoke of there being a revolution against Asgard, I couldn’t help but wonder. What was it like for those who fought against my father’s rule? Was he really just as hated as Odin? Of course, back then I didn’t realize the terrible things my family had done until it was too late.

“There was a protest one day, just outside the palace. My father wanted to delete every 10th person in that crowd, but I convinced him to cancel that order; let them protest in peace.”

“That’s very brave of you.”

“Maybe in your eyes. I don’t even know now if that was the right choice, because the protesters stormed the palace anyway. I’m not entirely sure what happened to my father, or my siblings, but my mother tried to hide me when the gates of the palace were broken down. She was shot and killed, and I was left alone, but…”

Nastya still remembers the moment when the bullet punched through her, and absently places a hand on her stomach. She still remembers the blood that stained her hand as she tried to stop the bleeding. She remembers the pain.

She remembers _that person_ appearing and asking her “Does it hurt?”

“You were injured.” Lyf says softly.

“Yes. I was shot. I tried to get away, but my wounds were too much and I eventually collapsed. When next I woke, it was on the _Aurora_ , and I was told I could no longer die.”

“I’m assuming this is where you met the rest of the Mechanisms.”

“Not all at once, but yes. Jonny was there before me; everyone else joined after.”

Nastya watches Lyf for any reaction, but all she sees reflected back in sympathy. “The rest of your family- are they…?”

“Dead, like I said before.” She curtly answers. “All because I told my father to not stop the rebels. Because I didn’t try to step up sooner or try to help people before it escalated to the point of no return. But no; I had to be the fragile useless princess who didn’t even try.”

“You couldn’t have known. It wasn’t your fault your parents were trying to hide the truth from you, and it certainly wasn’t your fault the protests turned violent.”

She gives a short and hollow laugh. “I still should have tried. It is over and done with now, so there’s no use and trying to wish things could have turned out differently. I am here, and I am now Nastya Rasputina. I cannot go back.”

“And Cyberia?”

Nastya shakes her head. “Cyberia is… it’s gone. My entire family is dead, and I am the last of the Romanovas, but for all they ever knew, I am dead too, which is technically true.”

In a way, she’s not too different from Lyf. They are the only thing left of Yggdrasil, as she is the only thing left of Cyberia. They are the only fragments of their respective homes, which no longer exist. They’re both adrift out here. Nastya understands how hollow that can leave someone, as it is a feeling that has never really left her. She just pushes it aside, like she does with all the things she doesn’t want to think about. Doesn’t change the regret Nastya sometimes feels. She sees the same grief in Lyf, and she understands.

And now, to her surprise, she sees Lyf reach a hand out toward her; a hand for her to take.

“I’m sorry.” They say.

She holds their gaze, and then looks down at their hand. She takes it.

“Me too.”

She squeezes their hand, hoping that this can communicate to them that she understands being the only survivor. She understand what it’s like to loose all that in an instant. There’s a mutual understanding.

They squeeze back.


	4. The Closest Thing To Living

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Friends gotta stick together, even when one's immortal and the other has weird eldritch stuff starting to effect them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title comes from the song of the same name by Wild Nothing.
> 
> (Slight warning for temporary character death toward the end; very brief. It's the mechs though, so yeah)

Nastya has well since claimed the engine room as her domain on the ship. It’s not the same as the _Aurora_ , but it’s fine. She can work here, she can forget about how cold she is all the time. It will do. Lyf is at least around for company as well. She’s been teaching them ship repair and maintenance, upon their request, and Nastya has been more than happy to show them what she knows. They don’t feel up to it all the time though, and she understands that. She’s had thousands of years to compartmentalize her own issues and what happened on Cyberia. Lyf’s had barely a month; the wounds left from what happened to their world are still fresh for them.

At the moment she’s working on some upgrades and further repairs on her own, which is fine. She’s used to working alone, as she often did on the _Aurora_ , doing whatever work needed to be done, mechanically speaking. This is no different, so that’s how she busies herself now; optimizing the ship for better space travel.

Nastya’s gone back in between two pieces of machinery to make adjustments to earlier repairs when she becomes aware of another person here with her. Given the fact there is only one other person it could be, she doesn’t need to look to see who it is. She hears their footsteps and already knows.

“What can I do for you, Lyfrassir?” Nastya asks, not looking up from her work.

At first, there’s no response, but then comes a quiet, “Can I stay here for a while?”

She draws back from the machinery to finally look over Lyf. Their silver eyes are downcast and tired. Their quilt she had seen before was wrapped around their shoulders. They look like they’ve just woken up, hair messy from sleep.

“Of course. Nightmare?”

“Yeah. That and… and I feel really cold.”

Nastya sets down her tools and pats the mess of pillows and blankets she has nearby. Lyf quietly makes their way over and lays down, curling up in their quilt. She doesn’t go back into the machinery yet, keeping an eye on them. They eventually settle down and she returns to her work.

“Has this been happening a lot?” She asks, speaking a little louder so Lyf can hear. “The feeling of being cold?”

“Quite a bit since leaving Yggdrasil.” They explain. “I thought I was sick, but I don’t have a fever or anything. I don’t know what’s- if something’s wrong with me or if it’s just something I’ve never noticed before.”

Nastya has noticed how Lyf seems like they are chilled at times, recognizing it because that’s how she feels all the time. She withdraws from the machinery again, sets down her tools, and kneels down next to Lyf, gently pressing the back of her hand to their forehead. They down feel warm at all. They feel like ice.

“You don’t have a fever, if that helps.” She says, taking her hand back.

Lyf hides their face away in the pillows, so once again she goes back to work.

“You will be fine.” Nastya insists. “This place is warm, as I told you the night you found me here. It helps.”

“Is this why you wanted all those blankets and pillows when we were last planetside?”

She smiles. “They’re comfortable.”

“Yes, this is… nice.”

They don’t say anything else, so Nastya continues her work, listening in case Lyf says anything else.

After a while, Nastya decides she’s done enough work and calls it for now. She puts her tools away and goes to check on Lyf. When she does, she sees that they’ve fallen asleep in the pile of pillows and blankets.

‘ _Looks like that did the trick.’_ She remarks to herself. She doesn’t have the heart to move or wake Lyf, they’d looked quite out of it when they came in, so she’ll allow them to stay for the time being.

Nastya does feel a wash of concern for them, knowing they are likely dealing with trauma from their experience; of what was likely a brush with strange cosmic forces. Lyf had their good days, and they had their bad days in equal measure; days where they said they felt cold, or were drained by a nightmare, or had spells of mood swings because they were overwhelmed. Nastya didn’t blame them for this; she understood.

Yet, somehow, she can’t shake the feeling there’s something deeper she’s not seeing, something below the surface.

She takes a book she picked up when last planetside and sits down by the pillow/blanket nest, leaning back against one of the larger pillows near Lyf. She opens up the book and reads for a little bit. It’s so warm in this room though, and she’s comfortable here. She can’t help but sleep as well.

Lyf’s gone when she wakes up again, and she can only hope they’re feeling better.

* * *

Having Nastya teach them about ship repair and maintenance, was something Lyf found they enjoyed. Lyf wanted to learn, both for their own purposes and so they could help her with any future repairs, so they had asked and she obliged, starting with the basics. At least it gave them something to do on days were they felt semi okay.

And that’s what they were doing now; joining Nastya in the engine room for another lesson. They were grateful she was doing this for them. Sometimes, on their bad days, they would wander into the engine room, and Nastya would sit with them or work on something for a while. It was during one of these instances that she opened up about wanting to make adjustments and modifications to the ship to keep it in working order. That was another reason Lyf wanted to learn what Nastya knew; as a way to repay her for just being a comforting presence. A good friend.

“Now be careful with this.” Nastya instructed. “The metal here is hot.”

“Right.” They acknowledged. “So what do I need to do?”

“Just tighten a couple bolts here on the pipes. Make sure when you do they’re nice and sturdy. Can’t have your work come undone and cause problems, can we?”

Lyf nods, taking up the tool they needed and getting to work. It was a simple thing, but Lyf didn’t mind. Nastya watched from nearby, but was also tinkering away on something else while they worked.

Carrying out the task she had given them was easy enough, and they made quick work of it. However, it was as they were trying to readjust their position to get at the last set of bolts that their hand accidentally touched hot metal in the process.

“ _Skit_!” They swore in their native tongue. They held their hand to their chest out of reflex and got themself out of the corners of machinery they were in, only to collapse to the floor because their hand felt like it was on fire and _oh Gods it hurts so much!_

Nastya was by their side in an instant. “I told you the metal was hot. Let me see.”

She pries their hand into view and Lyf tries their best to swallow down the pain. Her hands feel cold upon theirs. Still Lyf can see the burn mark that has already seared their palm, pulses of pain radiating out and up their arm.

“I’ll be right back.” She said in a hurried rush, getting up and leaving the engine room.

Lyf remained on the floor, clutching their hand to their chest again. They don’t know how long they sit like that, but soon their hand starts to feel numb. The burn hadn’t damaged any of their nerves, had it?

They force themself to look at the burn again, seeing- wait, did it look better than it had before? And… were there lines of _rainbow_ under their skin?

“Lyfrassir.”

Lyf looks up, seeing Nastya come back into the room and carrying a few items with her. They looked back down at their hand, and it looked the same as before. Still a nasty burn on their palm, but no rainbow. Had they imagined that?

“I-I’m fine.” They managed. “It just hurts. A lot.”

“Yes, it probably does.” She takes their hand and applies a salve to the burn, then tying a bandage around it. Lyf can feel the cold from her hands seep into theirs once more.

“Nastya?” They start. Nastya hums in response. “Is you being cold all the time a side effect of being immortal?”

She blinks at them as if they’ve just asked a strange question. “Of sorts. Do my hands being cold bother you?”

“No, its not that. I just… I’m sorry you have to suffer with something like that.”

“It’s nothing to be concerned about. I may not like it, but I have learned to live with it.” She drops their hand. Her voice sounded a bit empty there, and they can’t help but wonder if she was having a bad day too. Her story about Cyberia had made it clear to them she’s still got things haunting her as well. They weren’t too far apart in that regard. “Your hand should be all set now. I can finish up here.”

Lyf flexes their hand experimentally. There’s still some pain there, but less so. None of that numbness like before. “Thank you, Nastya. Sorry about the whole… burning my hand thing.”

“There is nothing to apologize for, Lyfrassir. It was an accident is all.”

They watch as she returns to where she left off, but they decide to speak again before she tunes everything out. “Ah… If- If you ever need to talk about anything… well, you know where to find me.”

Nastya nods once and Lyf takes that as their cue to leave. They’ve got other things on their mind right now anyway…

...Like if just a few minutes ago all the veins in their hand had lit up with that horrid light.

* * *

When they stop on another planet to refuel the ship, Lyf and Nastya agree to stop at a pub before heading out. She states her reason as being in the mood for a drink, so Lyf follows, feeling like they could do with one themself. At least the place they find serves mead.

Halfway into a drink they find Nastya staring at a duo off in the corner playing a tune that carries through the pub.

“Reminding you of playing in your old crew’s band?” Lyf asks.

“Sort of.” She watches the people play their instruments for a bit longer before taking a sip of her drink. “Like I said, me and Marius would alternate depending on mood or story. Did you ever play an instrument?”

“I did, yes. I used to play cello. My mothers got one for me when they noticed I had taken an interest in music and poetry.”

“I’m guessing you don’t any more on account of the...” She doesn’t finish, but Lyf know what she means to say. “We should get you a cello before we leave.”

“Are you serious?”

“Why not?”

“I… Well… That’d be nice. I’ll think about it.”

She punches their shoulder lightly. “Think faster.”

Lyf smiles. Maybe they would take her up on the offer, as long as she didn’t try to steal one for them. Still, having an instrument to play again might be nice, and may be another outlet for them to channel their more darker feelings.

They’re both finishing up their drinks when Lyf catches word of a disagreement nearby that appears to be quickly escalating. Nastya seems to have noticed as well.

“Maybe we should leave before things get out of hand.” Lyf suggests when it appears things are escalating.

Nastya shrugs, but tosses a coin to the bartender anyway. It’s as she is doing this, and Lyf goes to slip on their cloak, that the two arguing have moved closer to them. There’s a shout and one moves out of the way- the next thing Lyf knows is that they’re given a good punch to the side of their face, making them stumble back against the bar, back hitting the hard wood.

Nastya reaches out and grab them by the arm as they try to breathe through the pain in their head and back. They catch a concerned glance from her before she turns on the person who hit Lyf and narrows her eyes. She draws her gun (also stolen because she said she needed a new one).

“Leave them alone.” She warns.

Everything kinda devolves into chaos after that, and they’re both trying to make a hasty retreat after Nastya shoots someone. As Lyf gets the door open, a shot rings out and they hear a hitched sound from Nastya. They turn back, seeing her leaning against the doorway, causing a flash of panic to run through them. Did she get shot? They turn their sights to where that shot came from, seeing the person has their weapon raised and advancing on them-

“Don’t!” They shout, though it comes out as more of an angry growl.

Lyf’s vision flashes rainbow, and they hear a startled gasp as the other person’s weapon is knocked from their hand and to the floor. They dare to look at it and… it looks warped, faintly pulsing rainbow.

‘ _Did… Did I do that?’_ Lyf wonders. _‘I wasn’t anywhere near them. How…?’_

There’s no time to ponder this though, as Nastya grabs them and pushes them both out the door. Perhaps she was okay after all.

They run and duck into a nearby alleyway, but once Lyf’s caught their breath, they see Nastya leaning on the wall-

She’s holding a hand to her stomach; silver on her clothes. Lyf realizes that the silver is her blood and pales at the sight. Scratch off the previous remark; she had been shot.

Before they think to do anything though, Nastya collapses; Lyf trying to catch her, but only ending up being brought down with her.

“Nastya! Oh Gods...” Lyf gathers her up in their arms and looks at the silver across her clothes. They try to feel for a pulse at her neck, but they’re having trouble finding it, and they can’t even tell if she’s breathing anymore- “Gods _jävla helvete_!”

They press a hand hastily to where she had been shot, trying to stem the bleeding. She feels so cold and seems so small in their arms, and all Lyf can think is ”don’t die”. They don’t want to be left to travel alone again. They don’t want to lose someone who understands what they have been through. They don’t want to loose a friend.

But then… they remember. Nastya could not die. She said it herself that she was immortal, and that she did “die” on occasion, but it was more of a temporary thing. 

No… No, Nastya would not die.

Lyf checks for a pulse again, finding a weak flutter of one this time. Lyf hadn’t gotten a good look at the injury, only panicked, but they had thought it might be fatal. Yet, somehow, she was still alive. She really was immortal.

Just in case, they begin to mutter a healing prayer to her, worried her life signs might waver again.

* * *

She knows the familiar embrace of the dark, of the cold. Death.

Of course, she cannot die. _The doctor_ made sure of that, turning her blood into the one thing that will always bring her back from death every time and will heal her wounds. Death is only a temporary condition for her.

Though, as she wakes from the cold sleep, as all her senses come back to her, she feels someone holding her, whispering something.

“...heal your wounds and your soul, so that you may be healthy in both body and mind…” There was a shaky intake of breath. “Nastya...”

She remembers Lyf; her traveling companion.

Nastya opens her eyes, and finds their hand that is pressed to where she was shot. They feel cold, like her.

This gets their attention right away. “Nastya?”

She stares up at them bleakly, their eyes full of concern. “I… I’m here.”

She feels their hand tighten around her arm. “Oh, thank the Gods. I thought- I thought for a moment that you-”

“I’m unable to die, remember?”

They sigh. “Yes… Yes, I know. I forgot that fact, admittedly, but actually seeing it...” Are there tears in their eyes? “And there’s also the fact that… you’re my friend, Nastya. Or, at least, I hope we are. Friends, that is. To see you dead, or at least thinking you might be, was- I was frightened.”

She allows their words to sink in before responding. “You’re my friend too, Lyfrassir.”

Yes, they are her friend. Her other friends that she held dear, the Mechanisms- she was no longer with them, but Lyf was here. She still had a friend.

“Can you stand?” They ask. “We should go back to the ship. Your injury may still be-”

“It will heal on it’s own. Part of the whole immortal thing.”

“Oh. Okay. In any case I need to wash this… um- your blood is silver?”

“Yes, my blood is quicksilver; mercury.” She sees panic flash across their face at the word. “Don’t freak out; it’s a more diluted form.”

“Right… I… have quite a few questions about that. Not now, of course.”

“Yes. But I think I can stand. I’d rather not stay here any longer anyway.”

Lyf helps her to her feet, and they both make their way back to the ship. Nastya can feel faint traces of pain pulse through her from where the bullet hit her as she walks, but she knows her mechanism will repair the damage. It will not let her die.

She feels colder than ever.

When they return to the ship, she retreats back to the engine room so she can be alone. Lyf doesn’t question this and tells her that they’re going to check on a few things before they head off. Nastya lays down on her pillows and blankets, intending to go to sleep so she can forget about how chilled she suddenly is; a chill she had felt so keenly back in the early days of being aboard the _Aurora_. Each time she dies reminds her all too well.

She does doze off, and eventually, she’s woken by the sounds of the engines starting up. She wanders out of the engine room and finds Lyf tuning a cello on the bridge (they explain they decided to get one after all just before taking off).

Nastya manages a smile.


	5. An Understanding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nastya and Lyf help each other with their respective traumas when they decide to throw the two for a loop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick note: This chapter gets pretty angsty, with some existential stuff from Lyf, and immortality (and carmilla related things) with Nastya.
> 
> There's some comfort toward the end though... in the form of violin playing and hair braiding.

Ever since the incident in that pub, Lyf finds themselves wandering. They wander in a more… metaphorical sense of the word. Mentally, their mind wanders, thinking about the lines of rainbow they saw under their skin when they burned their hand. Their eyes long since changed to silver. How they were able to knock that person’s weapon from their hand without touching them.

Something’s happening to them; they can feel it.

Lyf supposes they’ve known since their eyes turned silver, a couple days before Nastya showed up. Deep down, they knew then they had been touched by the Bifrost and it clung to them now like a shadow. Lyf didn’t want to think about it. They denied it, but after that last incident, it’s been brought to the forefront of their attention. They can’t deny what they know exists in them when it carves proof upon their body; when it sings its song in their nightmares.

They haven’t been able to get it off their mind these past few days, leaving them with little sleep and moments where they space out; lost in the swirling thoughts that regard what has so clearly seeped into them. And poor Nastya- she asked after them once when they spaced out while she was trying to teach them something. She meant well, they knew that, but what was there to say?

They’re thinking about it again while they stand in front of a set of windows in what was supposed to be a small observation area of the ship; staring out into the void. Distant stars flicker and shine in the black, and they almost feel like they could drift away into them.

If Lyf thinks about it long enough, they think they can start to see cracks spread along the windows in a rainbow light. That probably wasn’t good.

“Lyf? Lyfrassir.”

They blink several times at the voice, coming out of their daze as their mind decides to register who spoke to them. They turn and see Nastya in the doorway, leaning against the frame.

“I, um- h-how long have you been there...?”

“A few minutes. I thought we were going to compose something today now that you have your cello tuned, like we talked about the other day.”

Oh, right. They had discussed that, hadn’t they? They’d even suggested it to her, the act of tuning the cello catching them in a good mood at the time. Also they’d been starting to get used to her violin playing. She was a very good violin player, and she reminded them of songs they once heard- once upon a time on Midgard when a certain prisoner who kept making violins appear was being held there with his companions. They kinda miss those days, strangely enough; miss _him_ most of all.

“Ah… Sorry. I just kinda...” They try.

She frowns at him. “This is a bad time then? Is there anything I can-”

“No! No, I mean-” They shake their head. “I just spaced out for a moment. I can… We can still compose something.”

“Lyfrassir, no offense but you look kind of distant. Also you look like shit. Are you sure there isn’t anything on your mind?”

Lyf sort of blanks at her question at first, but they know if they try to brush it off, she won’t be buying it.

And something cracks in Lyf.

“Ha...” They flash her a wry smile. “Of course there’s something on my mind. It’s so messed up right now; everything’s so messed up. I may have gotten away from the thing that destroyed my home, but what use is it? I didn’t escape unscathed. I’ve known it ever since my eyes went silver. I could see rainbow light underneath my skin when I burned my hand, I see these rainbow flashes out of the corner of my eye, and I hear its song in my dreams. You know what I mean, right? The Bifrost.”

Nastya takes a step forward, looking cautious. “You’re in no fit state for music. Let’s get you some tea and-”

“Tea isn’t going to fix the rift in my gods damn brain! In my blood, in my bones, in my soul!”

“I’m not suggesting it will-”

“You must have noticed too, right? I’m not right; something’s wrong with me. The Bifrost has me; it’s had me since I spent those days desperately reviewing the footage in the Black Box trying to find some meaning to it. It was all for nothing, and here I am, the only one left alive, but what’s the point if I’m just going to turn into something squamous anyway? How stupid is that? It’s absolutely ridiculous!”

A hysterical laugh bubbles up in their throat, and they can’t help it. They think they’re laughing, and they also think they might be crying. Not that it matters. It’s so foolish and ironic to Lyf; that they end up as the sole survivor, but it doesn’t matter because they’re so obviously infected by the Bifrost. They’ve been touched by Outer Gods. They’re not okay. They’re so not okay right now.

Their laughs stutter into coughs as they sink down to their knees, coughing something black into their hand. That’s nothing new by this point (that sometimes happened after a really bad nightmare) but everything looks a bit brighter around them for some reason, and they think they faintly hear static from somewhere. Maybe it’s the Bifrost finally breaking them-

There’s a careful touch on their hand; cold. Everything returns to its normal saturation, and the low hum of static is gone. They manage to catch their breath enough so that they can look up.

Nastya kneels in front of them. Her face does not hold pity or anything like that; only concern.

She draws her hand back. “I hope that did not startle you too much. Are you still with me?” They nod in response. “Good. I’m here, alright, Lyf? I’m here.”

Interesting she used their nickname instead of their full name, and that she was being so calm, but her presence, the cold touch of her hand, was grounding. Lyf could focus on that.

“What do you need?” She asks.

“I...” Their voice comes out strained. “Nastya, I… I don’t know… I’m not… I...”

“That’s okay. I have an idea, let’s get you some water and then get you to your bed. Maybe a rest will do you good. You look like you haven’t slept in a while, but it’ll certainly be more comfortable. Or would you like to go to the engine room to warm up?”

“No… m-my room, please.”

Lyf allows Nastya to take their hand- their veins are lit up with rainbow. That’s not good.

“Wh-What is-?”

“Ah, yes; that. Don’t panic, but there’s stuff like that all over your skin and there’s rainbow in your hair. I saw a bit on your face when I found you, but when you started... laughing, it got worse, as if you were splintering like glass. I think it’s died down a little now though.”

“Oh. Oh that’s great.” Lyf mutters sarcastically, punctuating this with a cough.

They allow her to lead them along back to their room, and there’s the fleeting thought that this is reminiscent of when, shortly after agreeing to travel together, Nastya had found them after a nightmare. Lyf knows they’re still shaking, even as she opens their door for them, and as they stumble over to their bed. They curl up in their quilt and Nastya sits on the edge of the bed. Yeah, the deja vu is really clear.

Their hands curl into the fabric of their quilt, and nearby, Nastya begins to hum a tune. Lyf thinks they might have heard her play this one before on her violin, but they aren’t sure. Still, as she continues to hum whatever this song was, Lyf tries to focus on it. Focus on the song, and Nastya’s presence. She’s still here; their friend is here with them, even when they’re so messed up from the Bifrost.

When Nastya finishes with the song, Lyf feels just a bit more calm. They still feel cold, and they’re still not really okay, but they don’t feel like they’re going to fall apart anymore.

She finally turns to them. “That one was called “Lost In The Cosmos”. Brian wrote that one; his way of trying to work through something that happened to him before he became immortal and joined our crew. He knows a thing or two about being alone and adrift.”

Lyf forces themself to take a breath, and even then it takes them a moment to find their voice. “….Nastya, am I- am I still all… rainbowy?”

“Not as much. Your hair still has streaks of it.”

“Great. Maybe… maybe my little breakdown just now triggered some reaction.”

“I figured as much, that those effects might be tied to your emotional state, but I didn’t want to say anything. I just wanted to make sure you were okay, but I can see you’re not.”

“You’re right. I’m not.” They admitted.

“I know.”

“It’s the Bifrost, Nastya.”

“I know.”

“I was- aren’t you scared of me?”

“No. Why would I be? I’ve seen worse.”

Lyf pushed themselves into a sitting position. “I literally just had what could loosely be described as a mild eldritch breakdown. I… I don’t think I’m really myself anymore. I’m just Lyfrassir Edda with some Bifrost stuck in them, with the added nightmares and weird eldritch side effects.”

For a moment she doesn’t reply, but then moved closer to them on the bed.

“I heard Jonny say something once.” She says, softly and slowly. “He said, “it is a truth often forgotten that the end is ever rarely the end. Tyrants may fall, and galaxies may burn, and life goes on”. It was a line he made up for one of our stories when we passed back through an old war torn sector once, but there’s some truth to it. I left the crew who had become my family, and I ended up being found by you. Each member of my former crew had their initial brush with death, but their stories did not end, and they are still being told. You fled your home as it was being destroyed, and you end up here, changed, but still living.”

“The point?”

“The end is ever rarely the end. Lyfrassir is still alive; they’re right here in front of me. Even if you are changing, I’m not afraid of that. Trust me, I know what it is like to be unmade, but all the same you’re still the same person that brought me in from the void.”

Lyf sniffled, and felt tears coming to their eyes again. “...Do you still think I’m me?”

“You may have some weird prismatic energy in you now, but I don’t think any different. I still see Lyfrassir Edda; My friend.”

There’s something in the way she says that last part that makes them take a shuddering breath. She tugs on their arm a moment later, gently pulling them toward her. Lyf takes the hint and leans forward as she pulls them into a hug.

And they hold onto her tight as they cry. She doesn’t let go, even when they cry until their tears run dry and exhaustion starts to creep in. She just holds them; saying nothing.

Maybe it’s because they feel like she knows. She knows how it feels to be left as the only survivor of something so terrible, and how it messes you up. Maybe Nastya hadn’t had an encounter with a cosmic/eldritch force, but she understood. That much was evident when she had told them about Cyberia. She knows how it feels to no longer be the person you once were, because once upon a time she had been a princess named Anastasia, but now she was Nastya (not the mention the immortality). She says nothing in this moment, but it feels like she understands, and that’s a comfort.

Lyf has never been more grateful to have a friend.

* * *

It had been purely an accident that she burned her hand on some hot metal, much like Lyf had. Nastya hadn’t really even noticed at first until the pain finally registered after a few seconds of delay. Being deathly cold all the time sort of delayed her responses to intense heat.

She jerks back from the metal and machinery when the pain kicks in at last, dropping her tools. She gets out of the machinery so she can get a better look at her hand, and- yeah, that looks pretty bad, worse than when Lyf burned their hand. It hurts like all hell, reminds her that she can still feel sensations like this, but she knows it will not last. It will heal itself soon enough; her mechanism will reverse the damage.

For some reason, it’s that thought that makes Nastya stop and continue to stare at her hand.

It’s not like the sight of her burned hand is anything special to look at; it wouldn’t be the first time she’s burned herself while working on something. It’s a deeper thought that holds her here, however, concerning her Mechanism; something she’d been thinking about more since the death she took when last planetside with Lyf.

It would heal the burn, yes, as if it never happened. That’s the trick though. She will heal and recover from anything, even death. She can break a bone, starve, take a shot, be crippled by a computer virus, freeze in space- she’ll still come back. Death is only temporary. Her quicksilver blood was turned into something that will always keep her in this loop of immorality.

Not that she asked for this. She never asked for this. _The doctor_ just saw a dying young girl and decided she would be the newest masterpiece.

“Nastya, I know you’re busy, but I brought you something to eat-” Lyf. She hadn’t even heard them come in. “Nastya, what’s wrong? Why are you staring at your hand like that?” She doesn’t answer, but not even a second later she heard the sound of a plate being set down and- “Oh, Gods- your hand! What happened?”

“Burn.” She said simply.

“Okay… uh… let me find something to-”

“Don’t bother. It’s fine.”

“You burned your hand!”

“I said it’s fine!” She snaps, turning on them.

Nastya can tell in an instant that was a mistake. Lyf stares at her, wide eyed as if she’d slapped them. She notices the small, single braid done up on one side of Lyf’s still partially rainbow hair (it never went away after their little breakdown earlier in the week). Nastya knew the braid meant they were feeling in a good enough place to start doing them again, and she’d been happy for them. She focuses on that detail instead of their expression.

“I see you’re doing braids again...” She deflects.

“Ah, yes… Just small to start with. That’s not the point though.”

“And there’s no point in worrying about me. A burn will not kill me, you know this.”

“I… I know that, Nastya, but you’re still hurt.” Lyf insists.

“Of course I am, but you know why it’s fine? Because the damn mechanism that keeps me alive will heal it. You can watch it stitch my hand back together if you want. It doesn’t matter how bad, and even if I die it will still bring me back. It brings me back every single time.”

“Nastya-”

“I’m stuck like this; I have been for longer than you have been alive.” Her voice is wavering. “Because _she_ thought a princess bleeding out from a gunshot wound would be perfect for her experiments. She never even gave me a choice, never gave a thought to it. Now here I am! And you know what, I am reminded of that every time I die and every time I see my blood; the very thing she mechanized! I am reminded of her experiments and what she did to me, and Jonny, and the others!”

And her voice finally cracks on that last part, and she stops.

All of that had just sort of come out in a rush, and now Lyf’s looking at her like they don’t know what to do. Neither does she, really, not after just dropping that information on them. All those memories she’s tried to push back into the darkest corners of her subconscious had been dragged out again, and she doesn’t know what to do about that either. Her crew, her family, is nowhere to be found. No Jonny, no Brian, no Aurora- no one.

She’s alone. They’re gone. All that’s left are the memories.

Eventually, Lyf makes a move forward. “Nastya?” They speak quietly, as if trying not to startle her. “Hey- let’s go sit down. You’re shaking.”

Is she now? Huh.

“Y… Yes, I…” Her words trail off; she can’t bring herself to speak. Nastya instead makes her way over to her pile of blankets and pillows that serve as her bed and she lays down on top of them. She sees Lyf hovering nearby, not too close, but still looking unsure about what to do.

“Is there anything I can do?”

“Not really.”

She turns away from them, and after a moment she hears them walk over and sit down.

“If you’d rather I leave, let me know. Or just tap my arm.” They say.

She doesn’t do either, deciding to let them stay.

After a while, as her mind drifts in the old cold memories in a daze, she remembers suddenly that Lyf had brought her food. “You brought me something. I’m putting your efforts to waste-”

“Don’t worry about that.” Lys responds. “It’s just a sandwich; it can wait. Do you want it right now? I can go get it.”

“No.” Nastya grumbles. Any appetite she might have had was lost with that outburst.

“That’s okay. I got up earlier and put it back in the kitchen fridge for when you want it.” She hadn’t even noticed they had left at one point. There’s a pause before they speak again. “What you said earlier… Do you want to talk about it?”

Nastya hesitates, not sure of she wants to or not. Part of her wants to tell them though, desperate to have someone to listen; to just yell about how she hates _that person_ and how she hates being like this. Lyf might understand it too; she knew they hated what the Bifrost has done to them, how it’s changed them.

She rolls back over to face them, wincing as her still healing hand brushes against fabric.

“You know I’m immortal, but you don’t know the truth of it. Someone made me this way; turned my blood into a curse. You see, Lyfrassir, when I was shot on Cyberia, when the rebels took the palace, there was a woman who found me and asked “does it hurt?”. That’s all I remember before waking up on the Aurora. Her name was Carmilla.”

“This Carmilla… She’s the one who made you immortal, isn’t she?”

Nastya nods, sitting up now. “She did this to me and every other member of the crew. Jonny was the first, I was the second. The rest followed after. Carmilla said she saved me, and she tried to convince me that she was doing good. She told me she saved me from death. I was naive to believe her at first, because in the end, all she cared about was the results of her experiments, especially on me and Jonny in those days. It was a cold cycle of experimentation and death.”

“That… That sounds horrible, Nastya.” Lyf commented.

“It was. She would always find ways to tear me apart and see how my mechanism would react.”

“Is your mechanism what makes you immortal?”

“Yes. We all have one. For example, did you ever notice Marius’s arm, or Raphaella’s wings? Those are their mechanisms. They can heal us, and even restore us from death. Mine, as you may have guessed from what I said before, is my blood. It’s why I’m so cold all the time.”

“Oh. They had always claimed they were immortal, but I never really asked. Of course I know the truth of it now. Gods, I can’t imagine...”

“We got rid of Carmilla eventually, but we’re still stuck like this, unable to die. I hate it so much. I’ve lived for so, so long, thousands of years, millennia. I still have nightmares of her sometimes; she’s still haunting me. She should have just left me alone, because I never asked to be made into this. Carmilla always said she knew what she was doing, but I don’t really think she ever did, even if she saved me in the beginning. I was just some doll for her to break and be sewn back together. That’s all she saw any of us as. I had barely lived any of my life before she decided to interfere.”

“Wait, what do you mean by-” Lyf pauses and gets this strange look on their face like they’re hesitant of whatever they want to say “… Nastya, how old were you when you were mechanized?”

She takes a deep breath. “Seventeen.”

The moment she says it, Lyf’s eyes go wide, their face locked in a shocked expression. She can imagine the gears in their head turning as they realize the full scope of what she means.

Eventually, they say, quietly, “May… May I hug you?”

The request doesn’t register to her at first, but she does recognize that they’re being sincere. They care.

“Yes.”

Lyf pulls her near, and it’s like a warm blanket has been placed over her.

“Nastya… Oh, Nastya.” Lyf mutters. “That’s so cruel. She was so cruel to you and the others. You- You didn’t deserve any of that, _syster_.”

She blinks, pulling away slightly. “What did you call me?”

“Ah- it’s Old Norse, for “sister”. If you’d rather I not call you that, that’s fine. It was a slip of the tongue.”

“...No. It’s alright, actually.” Nastya assures them. “Jonny used to do that too. I was… surprised you’d call me that.”

Lyf lets her go and sits back. “Over the course of our travels so far I have come to think of you as like a sister, especially after you helped me through that one really bad day. It’s not just in the ways you’ve helped me since finding you, but in the ways we can find common ground in our experiences. We we’ve both been forged in dark science and madness-”

“More like the “terrible and traumatic shit that happened to us” club.” She jokes.

“That’s one way of putting it. I am thankful you are here, but also I care a great deal for you. Hearing your story about Cyberia and now your mechanization… Well… We’re not bound by blood, but bonds can be forged in even the darkest of circumstances. It’s like you said; our story is still being told. And you are not alone.”

Lyf echoes back the words she said to them when there was rainbow flashing through the silver of their eyes, when they held onto her as they cried their own anguish. Poor Lyfrassir, who had looked into something warped by cosmic forces, and had not only been marked by it, but forced to run away from everything they knew as it all fell apart. Lyfrassir, who escaped, but was left changed and with a great deal of trauma and grief on top of that. Lyfrassir, who understood some of what Nastya felt because of what they had gone through, and was still going through.

And to know that Lyf thinks of her as not only a friend, but a sister- there’s something comforting about that.

Nastya doesn’t really know what to say, except muttering a quiet, “Thanks.”

“Of course.” They respond, gaze flickering to her injured hand. “How's the hand?”

“Healing still. Not as much pain.”

“I guess that’s good. Let me at least put a bandage over it while it heals? Like you did for me that one time.”

She nods. “Sure.”

* * *

She’s tuning her violin so she can practice some old songs when Lyf comes in. Their hair is done up into a simple braid for sleeping, but she gets the feeling they haven’t slept well.

Nastya sets aside her violin. “How bad?”

When they speak, their voice comes out shaky. “I-I- It’s bad…” They say, looking fearful. “There was so much color, and something was- I was being watched; I could feel it. But then I woke, and I went to make tea, but I thought I heard static and then I somehow broke the mug. There- Gods- there was r-rainbow shimmering around the pieces. Nastya, I-”

“Hush; Come here and let me play you something.”

Lyf quickly makes their way over to where Nastya sits on her pillow/blanket nest and lays down next to her. She picks up her violin once more and starts to tune it, but keeps an eye on Lyf. When she’s done tuning her violin, Nastya starts to play Sirens. Marius knew this song better than she did, but she knows the basic melody of it.

It was clear to Nastya that the Bifrost had affected Lyf more deeply than she first considered. Hell, they could be developing some weird eldritch powers for all she knew. They were already partially Bifrost by this point, due to whatever that energy was that existed in them now. It concerned her; Lyf was already trying to recover from the destruction of the Yggdrasil system and the enormity of that loss, and now they were dealing with this. It made her annoyed at the cosmic force that had done this to Lyf, but there wasn’t much she could do about that.

But Lyf was her friend; a dear friend. It would be unfortunate to lose them now. She didn’t want that to come to pass.

When she finishes, she thinks about switching over to Cinders’ Song, but she checks on Lyf first. They look a little more relaxed compared to before.

“How are we feeling?” Nastya asks.

“I… I don’t know…? Can you keep playing… please?”

“Of course.”

Once again, Nastya’s taken back to the times she would comfort Jonny after a nightmare of his own; when the ticking of his heart became too much for him to handle alone. Back in those horrible days, Jonny was all she had. But he’s not here; none of the Mechanisms were here.

Lyf was here though.

“...I’m still here, right, Nastya?” They ask, just as she places the bow down on the strings.

Nastya places a hand on their shoulder, squeezing it. “You are. You are still here, Lyfrassir. I’ll tell you that as many times as you need to hear it.

* * *

Lyf notes that Nastya’s been staring at her plate of food for far too long. They reach over and tap her hand to get her attention.

“Nastya?” They start.

“Hm?” She raises her head.

“Are you feeling well? You’ve barely eaten.”

“Oh. Sorry. I was just thinking.”

“Is it anything you feel comfortable talking about?”

Nastya shrugs. “I had a dream last night.” She pushes around some of the scrambled eggs with a fork. “I dreamed of Aurora.”

“Ah.” Her former lover, Lyf remembered.

“I miss her.” She admitted. “I miss her and the others.”

Lyf knew how that felt. They had people they missed on some days, mostly their family. They can understand missing people you loved and cared about.

Right now though, Nastya looks so sad at the mention of Aurora, so Lyf thinks of something they could do to help.

“Would you like me to braid your hair?”

That catches her attention. “What? I thought you said-”

“It’s reserved for close friends, family, and lovers. However, I feel like, perhaps we are good enough friends that- I mean, I hope that’s okay to ask?”

Nastya picks up a portion of her hair and runs her fingers through it. “I guess you can.”

Lyf grins, getting up and situating themself behind her so they can begin. She flinches under their touch, and Lyf feels bad about that, but she relaxes as they begin to work. And Lyf starts to talk to fill the silence.

“You know who I miss sometimes?” They say, starting a braid. “It’s weird, but sometimes I miss Marius. For all the times he annoyed me and got on my nerves, he wasn’t all that bad. He tried to tell me bad jokes on days where I wasn’t feeling too great, just to get me to laugh. Then there was that one time him, Ivy, and Raphaella broke into my apartment while I was sick with a cold and left me a card, with soup and bread that may or may not have been stolen. It was all his idea though. He kept trying to convince me to quit my job... Maybe I should have...”

“Hm. Are you sure he hadn’t taken a liking to you? Or that you may have had a crush on him?”

Lyf scoffs. “No, that’s- I- I probably just grew used to him, as well as Ivy and Raphaella.”

They may say that, but they have found their thoughts wandering to Marius more and more lately when they try to think back to better days.

“Mmhm, sure.” She falls silent, but when Lyf starts to work on a second braid to tangle with this one. “...I’m sorry. I’m in a bit of a sentimental mood today. I think it’s also due to some musings on my immortality; we were all insufferable, but at least we had each other, and now...”

“It’s okay, Nastya.” Lyf assures her. “We’re helping each other, remember?”

“Yes...” Her voice comes out in a soft whisper, but that’s good enough for Lyf.


	6. How We Carry Our Ghosts And Shadows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reflections on missing people (family and lovers), and reflections on change (of the eldritch variety).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was inspired by the song Ocean of Storms, by k.burwash.

Nastya wakes with a start, the cold lingering for a moment before the warmth of the engine room starts to seep back in. The shadowy image of the person who put the curse of eternal life upon her burns like an afterimage in her mind.

She’d really hoped she was over the nightmares, but apparently not. She hasn’t had a dream involving Carmilla for a long time, but that’s the thing about being mechanized against your will and then put through experiments to test the limits and effects; the trauma never really leaves.

The things Carmilla had put her through were a common subject for her nightmares, as they had been since the beginning. Sometimes she would dream about the fall of Cyberia, and her death, or sometimes she would dream of waking up on that operating table alone and knowing nothing but cold. Still, the ones involving Carmilla were more common. Even after she was gone, Nastya still found herself haunted by the memories; the echos of cold and pain.

Her hands curl into the blankets she’s wrapped up in, glaring at the ceiling of the engine room. She hates the nightmares. She doesn’t like remembering Carmilla.

She doesn’t like remembering the pain, of the curious grin Carmilla had, of the deep cold that soaked through to her bones, of when Carmilla would force her to help with experimentation on the others (mainly Jonny at the time). All of it just comes back to haunt Nastya in the end.

Carmilla was gone now- well, not entirely. It became evident she was still out there somewhere when Marius and Raphaella had been found. She was far, far away though, and Nastya didn’t have to worry about being hurt or subjecting to any of Carmilla’s tests. She had a crew now, a family-

Oh. Right…

Nastya pushes herself up and reaches over for her coat she had tossed nearby. She draws it near and traces her fingers over the patch on the sleeve. It’s a patch that symbolized the Aurora; a patch that Jonny and sewn in himself for her.

Jonny she had known the longest out of any of the Mechs, and he was perhaps the one she was closest with. He could be over the top, easy to temper, and a general pain, but Nastya knew there was more to him than that. He knew pain of those days like she did. He was there for her; quietly holding her after a nightmare, crawling into the air vents with her just to keep her company, even sometimes trying to hide her from Carmilla. And sometimes that ended badly for him, and Nastya would feel horrible about it, even when he forced a smile and told her it was okay.

There was a reason Nastya thought of Jonny as her brother.

The others came along after, and Nastya was wary of them at first, but as she slowly got used to them, she came to think of them all as family. Brian, who she was also close to, who understood Aurora just as well as she did, and who understood the cold she felt constantly. Ashes, who had a knack for setting things on fire, but was sort of like an older sibling. Nastya remembers when they comforted her after a fight with Aurora once. Tim, a perfect compliment to Jonny, but who also taught her how to handle a few different pieces of weaponry. Ivy, who sometimes would start off on some random tangent, but Nastya would always listen. Marius, the grinning fool, who would play violin with her on the occasion. Raphaella, who liked magnets and who once braided her hair because Raphaella said it “looked messy with all the dust and cobwebs in it”. Toy Solider… who did whatever. It always wore a smile for everyone though, even her.

And of course… of course there was Aurora. Aurora, who Nastya had loved from the very moment she had woken up aboard the starship. Her beautiful lover, who listened as Nastya spoke to her softly in the air vents. Nastya missed the comforting hum of Aurora’s engines, and the ways in which they understood each other. Aurora loved her, and Nastya loved her in return.

But those days were gone, and Nastya was no longer with the Mechanisms or Aurora.

She left them. She left all of them.

Although...

Running her fingers over the surface of the patch, Nastya thinks of Lyf. She’s often seen them fidget with a ring they wore; one they said was their family ring. Lyf had left their family too, but they had literally been trying to escape the cosmic madness that had started to claim the Yggdrasil system; the same cosmic madness that had made its mark on Lyf and had changed them. Lyf worried sometimes that they were losing themself because of that, but they were working on it.

Nastya really didn’t think anything about Lyf had changed; it was insult to injury at this point. Okay, so they were just a little bit eldritch now, but Nastya didn’t care. Lyf was still Lyf, despite what they may think on their bad days, and-

Oh.

Oh, she’s been a hypocrite.

Nastya stares down at the patch as her brain works through the revelation. Since Lyf’s brief breakdown, and even since when they comforted her regarding her immortality and Carmilla, she’s felt the sense of missing her family, the Mechanisms, more keenly. Of course, she did miss them, but never so much before. She almost cried that one time she had woken from the dream she had of Aurora. Nastya hadn’t been sure as to why she had felt so sentimental lately, why the feeling of missing the Mechs and Aurora hurt so much more, but she thinks she knows now.

When Nastya had told Lyf she didn’t think any differently of them just because of how they’ve been affected by the Bifrost, it was the truth. They were changed, but that was okay. However, it was a hypocritical thing of her to say, because she had left those she loved and cared about for that exact reason. She remembers speaking those words to Jonny- “How much do you think is left of her after all she’s brought you through?”

She hadn’t thought, only acted upon a frustrated impulse. She had left because she couldn’t accept that Aurora had changed, even if she still was the same ship she knew. She hadn’t known how to deal with that then.

Perhaps, with Lyf, she had begun to learn how to accept that, and now she was feeling regret over what she had done. It was regret she felt.

Too fucking late to do anything about it now; she has to live with that decision.

Biting back tears, Nastya tosses the coat aside and leaves the engine room to find Lyf.

She decides to stop by their room, the most obvious location. She stops in front of the door, wipes away any remaining tears that threaten to fall from her eyes, and knocks twice on the door.

There’s a shuffling from somewhere inside before Lyf’s voice replies, “It’s open.”

Nastya pushes to door aside and walks in. She thought Lyf might be sleeping, but they’re awake; in bed with their quilt over their lap, pillows under their back propping them up, and an open book in hand.

“You’re up.” She comments.

“Writing some poetry.” Lyf responds. “It helps with the whole… you know. Is everything okay?”

“I… I had a nightmare; about _her_.”

“Oh.” She doesn’t have to say anything else, because she can tell by looking at them that they know exactly what she means. “Is there anything I can…?”

She shrugs. She’s not terribly good at expressing it, but she doesn’t really want to be alone right now; not with the lingering cold of the nightmare and the hollow feeling that arose from her regret.

Lyf sets down their book and pats a space next to them on the bed.

“Come here, _syster_.”

The way Lyf says that still feels new (she’s used to Jonny saying that to her), but at the same time it feels like a warm welcome. She joins them on the bed and they take her up in a hug. Nastya leans against them.

They don’t ask about any further details of the nightmare, and instead asks, “Would you like me to tell you a story?”

She nods.

“Okay. So, on Midgard, and throughout Yggdrasil in general, it is widely regarded that everyone is ultimately descended from stardust; we have a bit of the cosmos in us all. It may seem a bit self centered, especially since it is integrated so much into our culture and religion, but there was a prominent creation myth in Yggdrasil, and it began when there was only stardust. From the silence and stardust arose two lands; Felheim and Muspell. And then, where they met was Ginnungagap...”

Nastya follows along as Lyf explains further into this “creation myth”, telling it like a story they heard as a child (and maybe it was). They speak of the formation of a _J_ _ättar_ , or Giant, from these forces and stardust named Ymir, and from which eventually came other beings that made up the world of Yggdrasil as they knew it. According to Lyf, it was also believed that the people of Yggdrasil are descended from these Giants, especially those that lived on Jotunheim. It was quite fascinating to hear Lyf explain, giving her an insight into their culture; a piece of something that, as it was now, no longer existed. Obviously they were happy to share this, because they are keeping their culture alive through telling it. In a way they were like an archive; Ivy would have liked that about them.

For now, Nastya rests against them as they tell the story, letting it carry her away from the nightmare and the misery in her heart. Even after all this time, those shadows and ghosts still tried to claw at her, but she wasn't alone anymore, not like she had been when she had still lived as a princess. Not like she had when she stepped out of the airlock to let herself freeze in space. 

She at least still had someone she could call a friend; a sibling. 

* * *

Lyf sets down some snacks and drinks with their sheet music in the area they and Nastya set up in the tiny observation deck. Recently, they had both decided to take up this space as someplace they could compose music in together (it was something new they were trying), but it was more like a common area now. Lyf felt in a mood to work on their music and asked Nastya if she wanted to join them; maybe play a game or two of something as well. She had some things to work on, but she said she’d join them after.

They retrieve one of the games they had set in the corner of the room; a card game called “Fortress” they had picked up on their last supply stop. At the time, it had prompted Nastya to tell them about an occasion where her old crew found a weird game that turned out to be very complex and competitive (Ivy thought it made perfect sense apparently), but ended in a stalemate because no one had the “golden loyalty card” at the end. At least this one wasn’t as outlandish sounding.

They set the box with the game down with the rest of their stuff, and then sat down in one of the beanbag chairs, looking out the windows to the void. Stars flicked and shined from a far off distance. As empty and lonely being out in space seemed (though they weren’t alone out here anymore), there was something serene about it as well. Lyf had grown up believing that everyone had a bit of stardust in them; the essence that had been there in the beginning. They still believed that now, after all that had happened, even when they were adrift.

But it wasn’t just stardust in them now anymore, was it?

Lyf curls a hand into the fabric of the beanbag chair, hearing the material shift under their grasp.

‘ _It’s okay. You’re okay.’_ They tell themself. _‘You’re still here.’_

They were already grieving for the loss of, well, everything that had made up their world, and dealing with being the last one alive. They _really_ did not need all this Bifrost nonsense on top of all that. But no, the Bifrost just said, “no rights for Lyfrassir”, and marked them with its twisted color. Gods damn rainbow wormhole and the squamous things from between spaces. Gods damn Yog-Sothoth.

They take a breath; breathe in, breathe out. Tell themself they were still here. Gods, this was the worst.

Lyf slumps back in the beanbag chair. It’s hard these days not to think about how they’ve changed, not when it’s so obvious in their eyes and in their hair. And they’re trying; oh how they’re trying to live with this. It’s kind of an unprecedented thing though. Lyf knew that the Bifrost always had some weirdness going on with it since its creation, and they had learned in their education that first attempts to stabilize it (only for Odin to use it for her own plans in the end) were… messy. Lyf doesn’t know what twist of fate has allowed them to actually be okay after everything- the exposure they got via the Black Box and likely some more when fringes of it started emerging into Midgard as they fled- but here they are.

But they are _trying_ ; that’s important. They’re writing poetry and playing music as a form of venting, and they can talk to Nastya if it gets really bad. It’s just the act of trying to deal with all of it can get overwhelming, and, honestly, quite existential.

They reach for one of their braids, undoing it and combing through it before starting to braid again, letting muscle memory take over.

“Grant me wisdom, grant me strength.” They say as they start to rebraid their hair. It’s a prayer; a whisper to the old gods of Yggdrasil. Maybe they are gone too, absorbed by the Bifrost, or Yog-Sothoth- whatever. Speaking it into the silence feels comforting; helps them feel present. “Grant me wisdom, grant me strength.”

The fact that they’ve started braiding again is progress, despite the stupid Bifrost throwing them for a loop. That’s still a part of themself that remains. Everything they remember about Yggdrasil, everything about it that now resides in Lyf- that remains. Lyf was the last piece of Yggdrasil, and as much as it hurts sometimes, it was a truth they carried.

So, yes. It was like Nastya said. Lyf was changed by the Bifrost, but at the same time, they were still here. Yggdrasil will live on through them. The road was not easy, but something like this could never be. It was up to Lyf to navigate it.

As they finish up their braid, they wonder if it was like this for Nastya when she had first woken aboard the Aurora and had been told she was immortal. According to her, her family had been killed when rebels stormed the palace where she lived, and then that woman, Carmilla, had saved Nastya but made her how she is now. Lyf knew that, in short, Nastya had been subjected to experimentation for a long time because of her new condition, and not just with her, but others of her crew. Suddenly becoming immortal probably had its own set of caveats that came with it, and as Lyf had seen, even she was still having a hard time dealing with it sometimes. She was just more reserved about it.

They were glad however, she at least had her crew; the Mechanisms. They had been made immortal too, from what Lyf knew, and she had been able to find solace in that. She often talked about her old crew like they were all insufferable, but there was some fond undertones to it. Nastya had found love too, in her former partner, who was apparently a sentient spaceship. Nastya always talked about Aurora in the highest regard though. There was still love there.

That… made Lyf wonder. They loved their family, but they didn’t have many friends, or people they were close to, on Midgard. Their old job, which was kind of dull looking back on it, didn’t find them any company either. During the years leading up to the reappearance of the Ratatosk Express and being assigned to review the Black Box, the only people Lyf actually had any sort of relationship with was…

...those three prisoners; Marius, Ivy, and Raphaella.

Okay, so, really, it was just that Lyf was always the one refereed to the three because they cooperated with Lyf for the most part, and they were the strangest prisoners Lyf had ever known, but…

They always wanted to talk to Lyf for some reason, even when it ended with Marius trying to play violin at them. There were times that those three had shown they cared for Lyf, which was really strange at the time because- well, the obvious, given their position. The whole cop-and-prisoner dynamic had gone out the window with everything else though, and Lyf’s found themself missing Marius, Ivy, and Raphaella, even though it was long since obvious they’d known about the train.

Perhaps it was because they were the last people Lyf had talked to before the Black Box’s recordings were burned into their brain and everything fell apart. Or perhaps, it was because Lyf acknowledged the fact that, despite themself, they had made an impression on them.

Especially Marius; that annoying violinist who could be as bright as the sun. Lyf remembered him, missed him, the most.

And… if, somehow, Lyf felt something deeper for him, well… Nothing they could do about it now.

There’s a knock on from somewhere off to the side, and Lyf turns to see Nastya. There’s a smudge of grime on her face, but that was a normal sight by now.

“I’ve finished up.” She tells them. “You wanted to work on our music set? Or play a game?”

“Oh. Yes.” They put on a smile and gesture to the game they brought out. And the snack, and the drinks, and the sheet music. “Do you feel up for a round of Fortress?”

She gives them a smile, walking into the room and pulling over a beanbag chair. “Sure.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If any of you are thinking "is that a wolf 359 reference I see?", re: Nastya saying her old crew once found a weird game, the answer is yes (specifically, it's a reference to a game played in ep. 34 of wolf 359).
> 
> The "story" Lyf tells to Nastya as a story is basically a reference to/is based off the creation myth of Norse mythology.


	7. We'll Be Just Fine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snippets from a stop to get supplies and other things: A crime or two is had, music is played, and a discovery is made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one ended up being longer than all the other chapters, so yeah.
> 
> Another warning for temporary character death in the second half of this chapter, but... don't worry, everything's fine. Also warning for some angst and a bit of existential thoughts in the second half as well.

“This is a bad idea.”

“You’re the one who wanted some new outfits for the show.”

“Before I found out your forgery device was on the fritz!”

Nastya shrugs. “Do you want something nice to wear for it or not?”

Lyf purses their lips. The answer to that was yes, of course. For a while, they had been working on composing a few songs together, and had recently decided to find somewhere to play them. So on their next stop, they both agreed that they would do a trial run and see how they felt about it; playing their music for people.

The gig wasn’t for a few hours, giving them time to do other things, in which Lyf had suggested they get some outfits for their debut. Unfortunately, the device Nastya often used to sync their own currency with wherever they were was not functioning properly, and so she had come up with an alternate idea. It basically boiled down to stealing some clothes.

“Come on, it will be fine. This wouldn’t be the first time we’ve done something like this.” Nastya points out. “Besides, you already forged our names onto the docket where we’re preforming.”

Okay, fair point. It wasn’t like they haven’t caused trouble before (for example that one time they punched someone who just went on and on about Odin). They know they have changed since they left their home to its horrible rainbow fate, and they had accepted that as a method of survival they might have to do things that the person they were before might have questioned. However, Their alignment they had when they were just trudging along as an inspector has long since gone out the window. They’ve definitely committed forgery multiple times at this point as well. Might as well roll with it, and they did want a new outfit to wear for the show.

The problem, and the reason why Lyf was hesitant, lay mostly in their condition; the piece of the Bifrost that existed in them. There's clearly something more to it, as proven by a few incidents where bits of that energy get loose, particularly when they are under stress. Lyf hasn't quite figured it out yet, and they worry about such a thing happening and what kind of attention that would attract. Nastya may be unfazed by it, but others who notice may not have such a neutral reaction. They suppose right now, stealing clothes wouldn't trigger anything, unless things went really wrong really quick. 

“Fine, let’s get this over with.” They relent.

Lyf follows Nastya to a small shop and allows her to take point. Between the two of them, she was more sneaky, and experienced when it came to this kind of thing. She went in first, leaving Lyf to linger outside. A few minutes later she returns.

“Security systems and camera are disabled for the next hour.” She tells them. “We should be good.”

“And how exactly did you pull that off?”

Nastya responds to this by rolling up her sleeve and showing what looks like a dataport on her arm.

Lyf will ask her about that later, because, okay apparently that’s a thing. Her biology was a strange one, but then again, so was theirs now a days, presumably.

“There’s only one person working here, and there appears to be a fire alarm inside. I’ll go distract the person working while you pull the alarm. We grab what we want and head out.”

They both enter the shop and Nastya goes to distract the only person working there; going up and striking a conversation with them. Lyf expected her to make much more of a show of it, but her actions were more subtle and they were able to take the hint. They find the alarm she was talking about, making sure Nastya was still distracting the other person before reaching over and pulling the alarm.

They don’t see what happens next, as they duck under a clothes rack so they’re not seen. They do see Nastya approach shortly after, spotting her boots.

“It’s empty now.” Nastya says, taking Lyf’s arm and pulling them to their feet. “Let’s move; quickly now if you want to avoid this getting messy.”

Lyf runs around and grabs a couple items; a simple button up shirt, a long skirt, fingerless gloves, and a dark blue shawl with gold accents. They find a bag to stuff them in and meet up with Nastya, who has a coat and scarf; of course. She’s also got two hats with her. They both head out through the back of the shop, before more people get drawn in by the commotion and complicate things.

They head away from the shop, trying to appear casual to anyone they walk by, not stopping until they get some distance away.

“See, not so bad.” She says, when they stop, then handing them a hat. “Here, have one.”

Lyf takes the hat, looking it over and setting it atop their head. “Er… thanks? Should we head back to the ship and just lay low for a bit until the show?”

Nastya shrugs. “If you want? I did say the cameras and security systems there would be down for a half hour. We should be fine.”

“It would make me feel better, if that’s alright. And I would like to practice our songs for a bit.”

“Alright then; suit yourself. I can at least make sure my violin is in working order. Probably will do some good to run some rosin over the bow.”

That's probably a good idea, now that they think about it. Well, at least they got their wish and they have something to wear tonight.

* * *

“How long has it been since you last played for anyone?” Nastya asks as they tune their cello backstage.

“Besides you? A while.” Lyf pauses to adjust a peg. “The job I had back home involved more investigative work, so playing cello kinda fell to the wayside. Then the whole thing with the train and the Black Box and the Bifrost happened, and… yeah...”

Nastya sets down her violin and gives them a sympathetic look. She has on her new coat, and there’s a braid done up on one side of her face; one that she allowed Lyf to put in. Lyf’s done up a few braids of their own, some rainbow woven into the strands.

“I haven’t played for anyone besides you since I left the Mechanisms, if that helps. I don’t even know how long I was floating in space before you found me.”

“At least 80 years maybe? If you never got to see any of the Yggdrasil system, then you must not have been with the rest of your crew when they arrived, which was shortly after the train disappeared. That’s according to what I heard about them anyway. It took almost 20 years to capture the three that I met, and they had been imprisoned for 60 years by the time I was given the Black Box.”

“Sounds about right. In any case, neither of us have done anything of the sort for a long time. Are you nervous? The reason I asked that question before was because you looked nervous.”

They shift their hand down to place their fingers on the strings at the neck, and then slowly drags the bow across them. “I- I guess a little bit? I haven’t played for any crowds or anything like you must have. Just a few people on the occasion.”

Nastya idly plays a note on her violin. “Never as a princess, but as the engineer of the _Aurora_ , as a Mechanism, yes. Once Marius joined us, we would take turns with the violin playing, since there were two of us proficient at it.”

“Well, at least one of us has some confidence.”

Lyf sees Nastya roll her eyes. “You’ll do fine. If anything, I might be a little rusty.”

“You? Rusty? You practice the violin most of the time when you’re not working on something in the engine room. You’re just as bad as Marius sometimes.”

“But less annoying. From how you explain it, it almost sounds like he was trying to flirt with you.”

Lyf blushes, pointedly looking down at their cello. “I-I don’t know what you mean.”

“He’s very expressive, especially with music. I’m the cooler violinist though.”

They sigh, gather themself, and look back up at her again, giving her a smile. They realize that while they do feel nervous about playing in front of people again, they also feel the slightest bit excited. They had both discussed doing this before, and with the few songs they had crafted, they had decided now to test run them. This probably wasn’t anything new for Nastya (or as “energetic” as she might be used to, given how she has described some of the Mechs shows to them), but for Lyf it was, and getting to play something together with Nastya that they had composed together… it was good. This was good.

“We’ll be fine. This will be fine.”

When they’re both done tuning their instruments, they wait backstage to be called. They’d found a nice cafe where a band was playing and got their names put on as the opening act (or Lyf had forged their names onto the docket. It wasn't like there was anyone else listed aside from the other band). It was as good a place as any to start; Nastya said that when she traveled with her old crew, they sometimes preformed at small venues such as this.

Eventually they’re called up. Lyf takes a breath and drags their cello out onto the stage, Nastya following alongside them. The crowd that greats them isn’t as big as Lyf was expecting, but they still have to will themself to stay calm. No one is looking at their oddly colored eyes, or the rainbow splattered through their hair. These people are just expecting someone to play something.

They’d be fine.

Lyf steps up to one of mics that’s placed nearby, while still keeping one hand on their cello, and speaks into the mic.

“Uh, h-hello? Hi.” Lyf pauses to clear their throat. “We are- well, we don't know what to call ourselves. We never really talked about it? So, I guess we’ll just play a few songs for you.”

“Play and hope for the best.” Nastya adds.

“Yes. Um… let’s begin.”

Nastya starts on their first song, an instrumental, and Lyf joins in soon after. Lyf’s nerves start to slowly melt away as they play, and they let the music carry them away. They’ve practiced this song multiple times while traveling, the first one they wrote together, and playing it now comes so easy to them. It feels good; to hear the music they’re creating, to feel the vibrations of the strings beneath their fingers.

After that, they move into two songs they wrote individually, each alternating singing parts. Nastya sings the first one, having wrote it, and then when they move to the next, it’s Lyf who sings. Lyf, for their part, has never sung before in their life. Well, they’ve sung when they were alone, but not in front of anyone.

They then move onto their final song, a duet. This one is particularly special to Lyf, because it’s about how they met. Nastya doesn’t give much away about it, other than introducing it by saying “we crossed paths in the cold of space, and now we’re here.” They called this song "Wayfarers".

No one in this crowd can ever truly understand or know the truth of what brought them both together, but they do. Lyf and Nastya know. Lyf thinks that they’re better off having met her, otherwise they would have gone on alone and maybe they would have had the Bifrost break them much easier without someone to anchor them. Never in a million years would they have imagined that they would have met Nastya under the conditions they did, and to end up regarding her as a close friend; a sister.

Lyf finishes their set of songs on a singular low note, and after a moment of silence, some clapping from the crowd is heard, and Lyf looks over at Nastya. She’s giving them a thumbs up.

They can’t help but smile.

* * *

She pours them both glasses of whiskey when they get back to their ship. Normally, Nastya would go right for the vodka, but they were out at the moment, and when she was still with the Mechanisms, it was customary to have a round of whiskey after a show.

“That went well.” She says, handing a glass to Lyf. She notes they look happy; they’ve seemed in good spirits since they left the cafe.

“Yes, it did.” They swirl their drink around in their glass before taking a sip. “That… That was fun.”

“Glad you enjoyed yourself. You played well.”

“As did you.”

“It’s good to know I still remember. Even after all the years I’ve been alive, I still remember how to play violin.” She takes a sip of her drink as well. “I haven’t played in a show with anyone for just as long, and it did feel good to do so again.”

“I’m glad you think so.”

"You would have fit in well among our band, you know."

"Your old crew, you mean? Oh. No, I doubt it."

"I have a feeling they would have worked you in somehow, especially if a certain three put in a good word for you. Which reminds me, I should tell you sometime about Jonny's harmonica crimes. I swear, he always has a harmonica on him at all times. Just as bad as Marius manifesting violins whenever he wants."

Lyf chuckles. " 'Harmonica crimes'."

Nastya regards Lyf as silence lapses over their conversation. Ending up being found by someone who was fleeing the destruction of their star system, becoming friends with them, and eventually end up preforming together with them was not on her list of possible things that might happen to her after leaving the Mechs. She’s kind of glad this is how things have worked out though. Lyf was a fine traveling companion, and when her cold past came back to try and haunt her, they were there. Lyf was not like any of the crew that had become her family, but she thought of them as such now.

And tonight... she really did enjoy it. It was wonderful; like old times with the Mechs, even if in reality it was just her and Lyf.

She takes her glass and holds it out to Lyf. “I wouldn’t mind if we played together again sometime.”

They look from her, to the glass, and then back to her before finally understanding the gesture. They bring their glass up and they clink them both together.

“I wouldn’t either.” Lyf says.

* * *

It may just be that they can recognize it now, but Lyf suspects that Nastya’s not having a good day.

They were already making breakfast when Nastya came into the kitchen, looking despondent. When Lyf had gently asked her what was wrong, she merely replied she needed more parts to help with some things she was working on. Lyf suspected there was more to it though, since she barely said a word at all and barely ate any of her food. In an effort to cheer her up, Lyf suggested they run into town and pick up some things she needed. Nastya had been able to get their currency device fixed late last night, so they should have no complications this time around.

That’s how they now find themselves wandering the town with Nastya, looking around in a few places for whatever it was Nastya needed. It is unfortunately a cloudy day in this place, which doesn’t help with their own mood (they had a nightmare again last night), but they’re trying to keep themselves in good spirits.

At one point, Lyf notices that Nastya is no longer walking next to them. They stop, look back, and find her standing in front of a window.

“Nastya?” They call, walking over to her. She still hasn’t turned around by the time they reach her, and they look into the window to see what has her so transfixed.

There behind the glass seems to model of some sort of space ship. Nothing Lyf recognizes of course, because all they knew of anything like that was from their own (formerly existing) system of Yggdrasil.

“Something about that model ship interest you?”

Finally she turns to them. “...It sort of reminds me of a Cyberian ship. And also- I have always been interested in engineering, even as a princess. I wanted to understand how machines worked, but of course, my parents would not allow that. They thought a princess had more important things to be concerned about, which was nothing, given what they hid from me. I once had a model ship smuggled to me by one of my tutors, but it was found and destroyed.”

“I see.” Lyf understood; it was a bittersweet nostalgia.

“I got my wish eventually though; I did become the engineer of the _Aurora_.”

Yes, by being unwillingly given immortality, as Lyf recalled. “You should get it.”

She shakes her head. “No. It’s a silly thing-”

“I don’t think so. I mean, I had a plushie of a bird for a long time. It was a nice thing to have on not so great days.”

She laughs. “A bird? Really?”

“Really. An owl, if you want to be more precise.”

“Hm...” She looks back to the window with the model spaceship. “I think I would like it, actually.”

So they both go into the shop and Lyf takes a few minutes to look around while Nastya inquires about the item in the window. There’s a few interesting knick knacks scattered about; odd trinkets, salt and pepper shakers, dolls, and the occasional oddity such as a pinned bug in a glass case.

Lyf’s looking at a weird puzzle cube that vaguely reminds them of the Black Box when a commotion catches their attention.

“What do you mean “not for sale”? It’s just sitting in a window.”

They recognize the voice as Nastya and put down the cube, seeking her out. They find her arguing with someone; possibly the shop keeper.

“I told you it’s not for sale, lady.”

“I don’t see a sign saying so, you miserable-”

“Hey.” Lyf says as they intervene, placing a hand on Nastya’s shoulder but meeting the shopkeeper’s eyes. “Leave her alone. She was just asking a question.”

“Well, the point still stands.” The shop keeper replies, irritated.

“May I ask why? She’s right, there was nothing signifying it wasn’t available to sell. We have money-”

“None of your business, and I’m not changing my mind.”

Lyf scowls at the shop keeper. However, it’s at that moment an idea crosses their mind. It’s petty, and a bad idea, but...

“Come on, let’s get out of here.” They say to Nastya.

“Huh?”

“We’re not getting anywhere with this.” They tug on the sleeve of her coat and she finally follows along, but not without sticking her tongue out at the other person first.

Once they’re outside, Lyf pulls Nastya off to the side.

“Do you really want that model spaceship?” They ask.

“I did. If that guy didn’t want people asking after it, he shouldn’t have out it in a window for people to do window shopping. Probably wants to sell it to some rich asshole.”

“Listen, I have an idea to get you that model.”

She raises a brow. “Does this involve causing some mischief?”

“It might.”

“This is a different tone from the other day.” She points out, and, well, she is right.

“To be honest, it’s not really about morals. I just worry about the stupid… whatever the Hel this thing is inside me- I worry about it slipping loose and putting us in a bad situation. That aside, that guy was being mean to you. I want to get you something nice, since it seems like you’ve been having a bad day.”

She blinks owlishly at them, but then places a hand on their arm. “We’ll get you an owl plushie later. For now- What did you have in mind for this scheme?”

Lyf thinks for a moment. “If you can break one of the shop windows, probably one of the ones to the side away from the front, I’ll sneak in and get it while that guy’s distracted.”

“Let’s get to it then.”

They split and Lyf waits by the entrance back into the shop. Soon after, they hear the sound of breaking glass and they slip back into the shop.

* * *

It was easy enough to create a distraction… by means of tossing a brick through a window. She retreats back away from the now broken window and takes up a position across the way to wait for Lyf.

Lyf had been right in deducing she wasn’t having a good day, but they’ve both been traveling with each other long enough to start recognizing when they’re both off-kilter. Her recent project of further upgrading their ship had not been going well and she ended up burning her hand, again. And on top of that, she was in a mood of wondering what her former crew was up to at present. Probably off somewhere planing a heist or looking for their next story.

It was awful that this came in on top of the songs she had played with Lyf last night at that cafe, but stuff like dealing with your trauma and dealing with your regrets didn’t work in a linear frame. She was very aware of that, and so was Lyf. It was just the timing of it all.

When she had agreed to go out into town with Lyf it was mostly just because she had nothing better to do. She could at least get some supplies for herself before they left this planet tomorrow morning. But then she’d seen that model ship and been reminded a bit of Cyberia and old memories, then things had happened when she tried to acquire the model ship, and now she was creating a distraction while Lyf snuck in and got it for her. It was almost like being back with the Mechanisms again.

She kind of wishes Lyf could meet the rest of the Mechs, they already knew three of them. She really wishes they could meet Aurora; her love would like Lyf. but that wouldn’t happen. The Mechs were… somewhere, just not here. It was just her and Lyf.

It was a bit lonely, but she and Lyf had each other.

A few minutes go by, and rain starts to fall. The street has become devoid of people due to the rain. Nastya doesn’t mind the rain, it doesn’t feel as cold as snow, or her blood, but Lyf has yet to return.

And it’s as she starts to wonder what’s keeping them that she hears a gunshot go off.

* * *

Getting back into the shop had been the easy part.

Lyf crept around as quietly as they could, making their way toward where the model spaceship was. They were able to get to it easy enough, with the shop keeper distracted by the broken window further back, and it didn’t seem like there was anybody else in the shop, but then… the trouble came as they were going to leave.

With the item in hand, Lyf meant to take their leave before they could be noticed, but they did not notice a loose floorboard, which unfortunately tripped them up. Caught off guard, they crashed to the floor and the model spaceship was sent out of their hands.

There was a ringing in their ears as they came back to their senses; a headache quickly building in their skull, and a terrible ache across their ribs. As they worked themselves back up, trying to get air circulating through their lungs again, rainbow spots danced across their vision. They saw the model spaceship nearby and saw there was a portion of it broken from the fall. Well, shit.

And then they heard a nearby shout and remembered the shop keeper.

Lyf gritted their teeth and forced themself up to their feet. Time to beat a tactical retreat. However, their disorientation from their slip was enough for the shop keeper to catch up with them as they made for the door. Something grabbed them by their braid of all things- they had actually spent some time this morning carefully putting their hair into a braid- and pulled them back. Another hand then grabbed them by the shoulder and the hold on their hair was released, only for this person to attempt to pin their arms behind their back.

“Let me go!” They yelled, struggling. Somehow, they found the strength to push the other person away. Something shattered somewhere as they spoke; a lightbulb perhaps, seeing as how the room area dimmed in the next second.

They turned on the shop keeper, finding they were able to distance him from them by a good few feet, but they saw he had a strange expression on his face. He looked afraid.

It hit Lyf then, and they looked down at their feet to see that the floor around them was slightly warped. They look to see their hands glowing with rainbow. They look around and catch their reflection in a case. They see a shimmer in it. Oh no.

They need to get out of here now.

Lyf takes off to find the window Nastya broke, if they can just get out through there and get this stupid shit under control-

And a shot goes off, and pain rips across their hip.

Lyf stumbles, their momentum interrupted. They manage to duck behind a bookshelf, collapsing the moment they do.

They press a hand to where they feel pain; they’d been shot. They hear the mutterings of the shop keeper from somewhere nearby; something along the lines of “you can’t hide, whatever you are”. See, this is exactly what Lyf had been afraid of. Stupid fucking Bifrost. Thanks for nothing.

They will themselves to calm down, though with the pain it was made difficult. Not to mention they could hear footsteps growing closer. This was bad, this was really bad-

And then they hear another pair of footsteps, rushed. There’s the sound of someone saying something in another language, and then a yelp of pain. It sounds like the shop keeper. Then the sound of something falling to the floor with a thud.

A moment of silence passes, before the familiar heavy footfall of steel toe boots approaches where they’re hiding.

“Lyfrassir?”

Nastya.

Slowly, they peer out from where they hide, and see her standing by the bookshelf. Once spotted, she comes over to them and kneels down. “There you are. I heard gunfire.”

“I… Ugh...” They work past the pain that threatens to make their voice give out. “Stupid… Bifrost. I kinda- a bit of it got out.”

“I can see that.” Her eyes drift down. “Shit, you’ve been shot.”

“Could be worse. I may need some help though.”

Nastya nods and helps them up. Lyf can’t exactly put weight on one side, so they end up leaning on her for the most part.

“The shop keeper?” Lyf mutters.

“Knocked him out with a book.”

“Oh.”

With Nastya’s help, they start making their way back out toward the shop entrance. Lyf’s hip feels like it’s being stabbed with knives, so their own movements are staggered. They fight through it anyway, trying not to worry about things like blood loss or what kind of damage might have been done with that hit. Or if any more Bifrost weirdness is seeping out of them.

But then they hear a grunt from behind them, and a glance back reveals that the shop keeper isn’t as unconscious as they thought.

“Go!” Nastya urges them, helping Lyf along as much as she could. They get to the door and Nastya gets it open-

And there’s a second gunshot.

Lyf thinks for a moment Nastya’s been hit again, and then they realize it as pain blooms inside them.

Nastya catches them as a strained cry escapes their lips, but she manages to keep herself upright while holding onto them. They hear her curse in that other language from before and then the next thing they know they’re being dragged along by her. Someone yells in the distance- “fucking weird rainbow creature!”- but Lyf can’t register it completely.

They feel their own blood warm between their fingers as they uselessly press a hand to their abdomen.

Nastya is speaking to them, saying something, but Lyf’s having a hard time keeping up, what with their hip and now this.

They feel rain on their skin. It feels cold.

 _They_ feel cold.

They’re slipping away.

After all the shit they went through, this is how it ends. Is this how it ends? Seems likely. Well, at least they won’t be consumed by the same cosmic madness that took everything from them.

On the other hand, Nastya- poor Nastya will be left alone. Lyf hates that. They don’t want to do that to her. They have that fleeting thought as she drags them into someplace.

But they can’t keep their head above the darkness that is dragging them under any longer.

* * *

Nastya drags Lyf into an abandoned building, just as their body goes limp in her grasp.

“Shit- Lyf-”

Her steps falter, but she tightens her hold on them and finds somewhere to set Lyf down. This place is not the best place for shelter, but it’s the best she can think of on short notice.

Stupid asshole shop keeper had a gun on him. He must have done something to trigger a reaction from Lyf’s Bifrost energy too, given that when she found them their hands were glowing. Rainbows were flickering through their eyes and she saw those branching lines of color again creeping up their neck. Well, fuck that shop keeper. He shot Lyf in the back. He got a shot off on her as well, but it grazed her shoulder. That wasn’t important right now though.

Once she’s got Lyf laid down, she takes off her coat and folds it over to put under their head. They’ve fallen unconscious, and their breathing has turned shallow and slow. She then turns her attention to their injuries. The one that catches her attention first, is of course where the stain of blood is dying their shirt red… and black? That wasn’t a thing before, was it?

Whatever. Nastya unbuttons their shirt to take a look at the injury, and- Oh… Oh, shit, it’s a mess. She can see where the bullet tore through the right side of their abdomen. She knows they were shot from behind, which only makes this worse. On top of the earlier injury they sustained…

“Fuck.” She hisses.

This is bad. This is really bad, and Nastya had no idea what to do. She’s not Brian, or Raphaella, or- hell, she’s not Marius. She has to do something though because otherwise Lyf will bleed out and die, and she can’t let that happen-

"You idiot; you shouldn't have- I should have taken that hit. I should have gone in myself." She says under her breath as she takes her scarf and presses it hard to the wound. If she can at least stop or slow the bleeding- if she can stabilize them enough to go find a doctor or someone who could properly help them- "I can take it, you can't. Lyf-” 

And she spares a glance at their face; eyes closed, but almost peaceful looking. Utterly still.

Too still.

“Lyf?” She tries. No response. Nothing at all. She knows they must have passed out, but there still should have been some sort of reaction. But there’s nothing. Lyf just lays there, and-

No… no, no, no-

“Lyf? Lyfrassir-” She tries again. “Come on, wake up; stay with me. You cannot go out on me now. You’re too stubborn for-”

Nastya’s hand, smeared with Lyf’s blood, goes to their neck to find their pulse; to assure herself they’re still here. She finds nothing. She realizes that at they’ve stopped breathing as well.

There’s nothing.

Her hands hover uselessly over their body, and eventually, she lets them fall to her side and she sits back.

The rain falls down onto the roof of the dilapidated building, the only sound in her stunned silence.

For all her immortal life, the only real connections she had were with the other members of her crew, and Aurora. After Carmilla did this to them, and after they finally got rid of her, all any of the really had was each other. That was fine by Nastya; she had her love, and she had her family. That was enough.

Of course, clearly it hadn’t given what she had done. And then Lyf found her.

Lyf was mortal, she knew this. She hadn’t really cared at first, just like she hadn’t cared where she was going. As it had turned out though, they had some things in common, though their experiences were vastly different in nature. They told their stories as they traveled along, and they helped each other on the occasion. Lyf was good company, and they were her friend. They were mortal, yes, but she had formed a connection with them.

But now they were…

All mortals died eventually, so she shouldn’t be bothered by any of this. And yet, as she stared at Lyf’s body, something about it made her heart ache. She didn’t like this; she didn’t like this at all. Lyf didn’t deserve a death like this, not after what they’ve gone through. And there was nothing she could do because she’ll just go on living, and Lyf...

Nastya leans forward and gathers Lyf into her arms, resting a hand gently on their cheek.

“ _мой брат_.”Nastya whispers, voice strained under rising grief.

And then… she notices something strange.

Rainbow shimmers catch Nastya’s eye, and as she looks down. The shimmers are coming from Lyf.

It was more like a glow, radiating from under their skin and pulsing like a slow heartbeat. In fact, now that she looked, it _was_ their heart that was glowing with that rainbow light. She saw those rainbow lines again lighting up across their body, and trailing down to concentrate around their injury. Confused, she removed the scarf, seeing that not only had their blood turned as dark as night, but there were more rainbow shimmers and thread working to knit up the wound. She looks further down and sees a faint glow through the fabric of their skirt; the same phenomena was probably occurring with the injury to their hip too.

Lyf’s body was fixing itself, she realized. So… if that was the case…

Without warning, Lyf shuddered in Nastya’s arms and their eyes fluttered open as they took in a desperate breath of air, choking on the sudden intake and coughing as their lungs restarted. Something dark trickles past their lips, but Lyf doesn’t seem to notice. Not that they would because they were literally dead just a minute ago; everything in them is trying to come back online once more. Nastya knows the feeling, and how disorienting it can be. In the meantime, she holds them close and she quietly watches, not saying anything because she’s honestly stunned.

This meant that Lyf couldn’t die, just like her.

When they finally settle, they seem to remember that they had been shot, and a weak cry escapes them. It’s only then that their eyes finally focus on her. “N-Nastya…?”

She can’t help but notice how they shiver in her arms, they’re still in pain from their healing wounds, and she doesn’t know what to say. Lyf was dead; they were gone.

...Fuck it- there’s no way around this. There’s no breaking this gently to them.

“...You were dead.” She’s surprised at how small her voice sounds.

They stare back at her in confusion. “W-What?”

“You were dead, Lyf.” She repeats. “You weren’t breathing. I couldn’t feel your pulse. You were gone.”

"I-I… I was-” Their own words choke off into a pained noise.

“Don’t move too much.” Nastya hushes them. “You’re still healing.”

“I’m… what?” They pant, and their eyes drift downward. She knows they can see the rainbow glow on their skin. “O-Oh. That’s...”

“Don’t look at it. Close your eyes. I’m here.”

Lyf does look away, angling their head towards her, and screws their eyes shut. She feels a hand find her arm and grasp onto it, reminding her of when she did the same after they saw her die for the first time.

Some time passes- she’s not keeping track- of her sitting on the floor of this abandoned building, holding Lyf while their wounds close up. She can still hear rain falling outside. Lyf still shakes in her arms, but it’s grown considerably less now. Eventually, Lyf speaks.

“How… How long was I… gone?” They ask.

“Not sure.” She says. “A few minutes, maybe? I don’t exactly know when your heart or lungs ceased to function. Then I saw that… shimmer, and then you woke up.”

Lyf doesn’t respond, but she feels their grip on her arm tighten. She looks down to their healing wounds, seeing the more serious of the two has mostly knitted back together. She wants to get them back to their ship, not wanting to imagine the kind of thoughts running through their head at this new discovery. This probably wasn’t the best place to try and deal with new found immortality.

“Do you think you can make it back to the ship?”

“I can try.”

She nods. That’s good enough for her.

* * *

Lyf’s still staring off into the distance when she returns to the table with some tea. They have a towel across their shoulders in an effort to dry off, since it had still been raining when they left their shelter. Lyf had been entirely silent on the way back, and Nastya thought they were either in a state of shock, or just numb in general.

She can take a good guess as to why. She knows from experience that grappling with the fact you were now immortal was a bit of a trip. When Nastya first woke upon the _Aurora_ , the first thing Carmilla said to her was that the she had been saved; that she could not die anymore. At the time, Nastya didn’t understand, and didn’t really believe it. It wasn’t until one of Carmilla’s experiments went too far and she woke up in Jonny’s arms, the first to be mechanized whispering to her “I’m sorry. I tried to stop it.”- Nastya finally understood it then, the curse of immortality.

Lyf hadn’t been mechanized, but somehow they now have the same curse. Not given to them by mad science, but likely by the Bifrost. It must be making the whole sole survivor thing worse; it certainly had for her at the time.

“Something to warm you up.” Nastya offers. They blink and turn to her, slowly taking the mug. “How are you feeling?”

“Um… I- It doesn’t hurt as much? It’s… It’s sort of gone numb; where I was...”

They don’t need to say anything; she knows. She pulls up one of the chairs from the table and sits next to them.

“It wasn’t easy for me either; when I found out I couldn’t die.” She says, hoping to offer some semblance of comforting words. There weren’t really any good words to say here. “It wasn’t for any of us. We never asked to be made into this. Some of us took it worse than others; I mean, ask Jonny- or don’t because he would sooner shoot you than talk about what happened.”

Lyf’s just staring down into their drink. “Well… I don’t know what to think. I- I don’t know… I just...” They sigh, and she sees rainbow flicker in their eyes again. “Does such a revelation come with feeling so hollow? It’s apparently not enough that everything I cared about was destroyed, and that I had to be marked by the Bifrost. It had to go and grant me immorality too.”

“You didn’t ask for this, just like I didn’t.”

They meet her eyes, and they look… Lost. Unsure. Disoriented. Drained.

Nastya moves as close as she can to them and puts an arm around them. She knows; she knows this feeling. There isn’t much she can do, but what she can do is be here and let them know they are not alone. So she does, and she whispers to them words that Jonny said said to her long ago when they were hiding away in the engine room of _Aurora_.

“You’ll be fine. We’ll be fine.” She says. “We’ll be just fine, Lyfrassir.”

* * *

Lyf says they want to be alone for a bit when they finish their tea; that they may just take a nap because, frankly, they’re exhausted. Nastya can’t blame them, so she lets them be.

For a while, she sits in the kitchen, contemplating the events that have transpired. The fact of the matter was that Lyf could no longer die; another thing they both had in common. She’s relieved they’re alive, yes, but how Lyf was probably taking this was a whole other story. Being immortal was… it was a double edged sword, and for her and the Mechs, it had brought nothing but suffering.

She knew though, in any case, Lyf was going to need some help navigating their new found immortality. Ironically, she wishes the rest of the Mechs were here. They might not be the best ones to refer Lyf for this, but they all knew the pain of it. They were not here… but Nastya was; a Mechanism through and through. Immortal. She would help, just as Lyf has helped her before.

For now, she thinks they should get off this planet; get away from here. Although, before they do…

Nastya bundles up as much as she can, grabs her pistol, and leaves the ship, trusting Lyf to be okay on their own for a bit.

One trip in the rain later, she returns to the ship with a singular brown paper bag. She places the bag onto the kitchen table and takes out the item inside; an owl plushie. It’s soft in her hands, and she pats the top of its head before heading off toward Lyf’s room.

Once there, she slips into the room, finding Lyf asleep. She quietly approaches and sets the owl plushie down close to them, nudging their hand to it. They twitch, but their hand moves towards it, grabbing onto it.

Nastya smiles in satisfaction, leaves the plushie with Lyf, and leaves the room to go start up the engines.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation used for when Nastya's speaking Cyberian (aka Russian)- My sibling.  
> (ngl i just google translated it so...)
> 
> We're entering into the final two chapters now, so the next update will be the second to last.


	8. Ties That Bind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time passes, and after three years, Nastya and Lyf make a surprising find while planetside, when a very familiar name catches their attention.

They travel on, going from one place to the next with no real sense of meaning. The days eventually blend together after a while, the only true sense of time being when they stop somewhere. That’s okay though; they’ve both stopped paying attention to how time passes when traveling.

Lyf’s still dealing with all the numerous issues they’ve accumulated by this point; being the only person to survive what happened to Yggdrasil, being marked by the Bifrost and what it’s done to them, and now being immortal. They still had their nightmares, sometimes bad enough to make them sick, and they had their days where they felt cold and completely out of it. They were slowly figuring out what the hell to do with this new part of themself as well. They found they could manipulate their surroundings to some extent, which was unsettling, and that brought a whole new mess of existential worry down on them, but they supposed they had all the time in the universe to figure it out now.

But they had their music, they had their poetry, and they had Nastya. And if for nothing else, Lyf would live so that something of Yggdrasil lives on as well.

Nastya still thinks about the Mechanisms sometimes. She thinks about Aurora. She thinks about her immortality. She’s been alive for so long, but that doesn’t mean she was free from her own demons. More a days her musings on immortality put her in a slump, especially if she ended up thinking about the early days with Carmilla. More recently though, thoughts of her former crew, as well as her former lover, crossed her mind, and those were often accompanied by regret. She had left them in a fit of frustration but she regretted it now. She had her own nightmares too; not as frequent as they used to be, but they were still there, consisting either of the days with Carmilla or Cyberia as the rebels stormed the palace. These things just made her feel hollow.

But she had her work in the engine room to keep her busy and warm, she had her violin to play music with, and she had Lyf.

Sometimes they would trade stories with each other; Nastya going off about the many adventures of the Mechanisms and the things they’ve seen (including a few notable tales that got made into albums), and Lyf sharing stories from growing up on Midgard.

Sometimes Lyf had a nightmare with too many colors and watchful eyes and Nastya would calm them down by playing violin. They would help her with anything that needed doing around the ship in return for that kindness. Sometimes it was Nastya who felt far too cold and would let Lyf hold her, to help her stay present. She, in turn, would teach them how machines worked, since they were willing to help with such.

There was the time Nastya broke her leg, and Lyf spent the afternoon teaching her their home language while her mechanism healed the damage. The first thing she asked was how to swear in their language; of course. There was the few days they had to spend planetside because Lyf got sick (because apparently that could still happen), and Nastya stayed with them and listened to their feverish existential ramblings.

There was a day where Nastya taught Lyf how to play violin, in addition to their cello. She joked that if they ever ran into the Mechs again (though she doubts she’ll see them again) they could surprise Marius with a violin duet. There was the time Lyf taught Nastya how to make a simple dish for Yule, a holiday they celebrated back in the Yggdrasil system, after Nastya asked them what Yule was.

Sometimes when they stopped at places to gather supplies or whatever, they caused some trouble while they were at it. There was one particularly memorable instance involving fireworks at a festival that had both of them laughing by the end of it. Sometimes things got out of hand, but they had each other’s backs. Nastya with her pistol, her wits, and her technological capabilities from her Cyberian heritage; Lyf with their own strange eldritch abilities from the Bifrost, using them to protect Nastya if necessary (they know she’s immortal, but they don’t like seeing her in pain).

On the other hand though, wherever they stop, they find somewhere to play a few songs for an evening. It gives Nastya nostalgia about when she traveled with the Mechanisms, playing at shows with them, and for Lyf it gives them a sense of peace because despite everything, they have something, and it makes them happy.

Neither Lyf or Nastya would have imagined this is how things would have ended up, but neither of them can say it was a bad thing, because it wasn’t. They’re lost and wayward souls; immortal and traveling through the void. But they’re okay with this, because they still have each other. They are not alone.

And then… after nearly three years of traveling together…

* * *

Nastya shivers and pulls her coat tighter around herself. Either this planet is in its winter cycle or it was just stupidly cold all the time. Thankfully, Lyf returns with two cups of whatever they had gone to get. It was warm as he passed one to her, steam rising from the top.

“The lady at the register called it ‘apple cider’.” They say. “Give it a minute to cool; it’s hot.”

“And I’m cold. This place is cold.” She retorts, but savoring the warmth in her hands.

“It is a bit chilly, isn’t it?”

She nods. They only just arrived on this planet this morning to refuel, but the crisp weather she felt when she first stepped out of the ship still remains. Lyf seems to be a little chilled as well, but they ran much more colder these days, like her.

They were also looking for a place they might be able to preform another show at. People have seemed to like their music whenever they’ve played it, and they did write a couple new songs recently to try out. They’ve gotten a bit sidetracked in their search though, coming across a place that was conducting a harvest on apples, by way of climbing trees. This resulted in Nastya climbing up a tree and accidentally sending an apple falling down onto Lyf’s head. They did get a small bag of apples in the end to take back to their ship, and now this ‘apple cider’.

“What should we do with the apples?” Nastya asks.

Lyf looked down at the bag of apples they were carrying. “We could always make something with them. There’s a lot of things you can make with apples. Have you ever had baked apples with brie and honey?”

She tilts her head. “No?”

“My mothers would make some up every year around the fall equinox; they were delicious.” She can see the bittersweet remembrance in their eyes. “We could make some of those. Or we could make some caramel apple bread. We’ll need the proper supplies of course.”

She takes a sip of her apple cider and thinks. She had never heard of such, not that she would know. The closest thing she’d ever seen was an apple pie, and even then, even for her, it was a rare treat. But that was in another life. Here in the present moment- It would at least put the newly acquired apples to use.

“The baked apples sound interesting.”

That brings a smile to their face. “I think there was a market nearby we might be able to find what we need at.”

Nastya cradles the styrofoam cup in her hands as they set off, Lyf starting to idly chat with her about some of their family’s autumn traditions. Lyf seemed to always be happy to share pieces of their culture and traditions with her, which was understandable.

As they walk along, Nastya happens to glance at a board in front of a theater with a bunch of flyers on it, and normally she wouldn’t have played it any mind. However, there’s something there that catches her eye, and she has to stop and do a double take. There’s something there she recognizes and she nearly drops her apple cider.

‘ _Is that…?’_ She wonders as she stares at a familiar symbol and name on a poster. She knows exactly what it is.

Lyf must have noticed she stopped, because a moment later, Nastya hears them call her name.

“Nastya? What is it?” She hears them approach, and then- “Oh Gods.”

They must have seen what she is seeing; a poster advertising for a show at the theater... with the Aurora symbol on it and the name “The Mechanisms”.

“They’re here.” Nastya breathes out, turning to Lyf.

They step forward and tear the poster from the board. “The date on here… This is the date the ship’s computer displayed for this planet when we landed this morning. This is tonight.”

“So it is...”

She doesn’t miss how they frown at the poster, probably remembering they last time they saw the Mechs. “They must be already here. I’m surprised we haven’t run into them already.”

“This may come as surprise to you, but when it comes to our music, they all take it very seriously, especially Jonny. They’re probably practicing. Either that or they’re off on a heist or something and it’s our luck we haven’t even heard an explosion.”

“Right...” They look to her,. “Do you- It’s been a while since either of us saw them. Would you like to go to see them tonight?”

She doesn’t know what to say at first. The choice to leave may have been her own, but she ended up regretting it in the end. Nastya had resigned herself to never seeing the Mechanisms again, figuring the chances were too low. Now that there was actually a chance to see them all again, Nastya was unsure. Yes, she missed them, they’re still her family, but there was a bit of trepidation. She’s been gone from them for so long, she doesn’t know if they’d want to see her. She wants to see them though.

“I… I would like to. Just watch their show.” She finally says. “What about you? I know your first impressions of them weren’t exactly the best.”

They shrugged. “True, but… things changed over time, even at the end. I may not be their biggest fan, but I know they’re practically family to you. If you want to see them, I’ll help you do that.”

“Yes… Yes, I would like that very much.”

* * *

It’s easy enough for them to get into the theater that night; mostly because Lyf phases them both through a wall. They’ve found with their new slightly eldritch abilities (on account of the Bifrost), their manipulation of the space around them also allows for phasing through walls like a ghost. There’s a small crowd of people here milling about by the stage, but rather than doing that, they both sneak up to an enclosed balcony area off to the side that still gives them a decent view of the stage.

Lyf’s a little anxious about this. They’re more than happy to help Nastya with this, but they remember her stories about the Mechanisms during their shows, that things could sometimes get a bit… out of hand. Now, back on Midgard, things never got like that whenever they had to talk to Marius, Ivy, and Raphaella, but that was only the three of them. Lyf hadn’t known there were any more Mechs, and they can only imagine the chaos that would come from all of them being together. This was going to be interesting to say the least.

“Did you ever get to hear them play?” Nastya asks as they settle down into their seats.

“Oh, trust me, I did.” Lyf said with a sigh. “Mostly it was Marius trying to annoy me with the same song. Anyway, I heard those three sometimes sang when they got bored, and on occasion I did hear them play stuff that… honestly I can barely remember. I think it was mostly bits and pieces. This will be my first time seeing all of their group together.”

For a little bit, they just chat back and forth between themselves, but then a noise from bellow catches their attention. Lyf looks down to see a group of people coming up onto the stage with a bunch of instruments.

‘ _This must be them.’_ Lyf thinks. ‘ _The Mechanisms.’_

Though it’s been three years, Lyf still recognizes Marius, Ivy, and Raphaella, easily picking them out from the rest of the group. The others Lyf is unfamiliar with, and tries to pick them out based on Nastya’s descriptions of them.

They glance over to Nastya, who has fallen completely silent; her gaze locked to the stage. Lyf turns back just as one of group begins to speak; a man with black lines like lightning around his eyes and who is wearing far too many belts. Lyf assumes this is Jonny.

And then they see Marius pick up a violin and start playing the opening notes of a very familiar song.

‘ _Are you serious??’_

“Like whiskey laced with gasoline, we’re deadly when we’re drunk!” They hear Jonny sing, and Lyf puts their hands over their face, because it’s that stupid fucking song again.

“Gods, I can’t ever escape it.”

They hear Nastya giggling next to them. “But this is our opener!”

“I thought I was free of this song.”

She gently nudges them. “Pay attention; they’re about to do their intros.”

Lyf huffs and turns their attention back to the group.

“Killers and renegades, liars and thieves- welcome! We are the Mechanisms, the crew of the starship Aurora.” Jonny says with a wild grin. “Roving through the galaxy having fun, violence, adventure, violence… violence. Allow me a brief moment of self-indulgence to introduce you to the crew of our mighty starship!”

Jonny starts in with the introductions, and Lyf watches as he gestures to each one.

Someone made of metal who was playing the drums. “Drumbot Brian; our pilot.”

The person playing base who gave a simple acknowledging nod when their name was called. “Ashes O’ Riley; quartermaster.”

Someone with long hair (which was really nice looking actually), and wearing goggles on their head. “Gunpowder Tim; master-of-arms.”

“Marius von Raum; the ship’s ‘doctor’.” Lyf couldn’t help but chuckle slightly at the way Jonny said that.

The wings of Raphaella, of course, were easy to recognize. “Raphaella la Cognizi; science officer.”

Ivy was off near Raphaella, but Lyf could spot her easy. “Ivy Alexandria; archivist.”

And then Jonny gestured to himself, giving his words a bit more of a dramatic flair. “And last, but opposite of least, your humble captain; Jonny D’Ville.”

“First mate!” The one named Tim corrected. This earned a shot from Jonny, but he mostly just shot the floor while Tim grined. Johnny sighed and continued with the rest of the song.

“Wow, you weren’t kidding about Jonny always calling himself ‘captain’.” Lyf commented to Nastya.

“He’s always been that way since we got rid of Carmilla.” She replies. “It’s sort of become an inside joke at this point.”

When the song quieted down and came to a close, the small crowd around the stage cheered. Lyf found Nastya clapping, a smile on her face.

After a moment, Jonny began speaking again.

“Now, you may have heard of us before.” He says. “You may have not. Either is fine. Normally, we go around recounting stories of events we’ve witnessed across this cold and vast universe, but the story we’ll be telling tonight is a bit different. Tonight, we shall tell you a story that was contained in a recording we discovered a back in a place that… Well, you won’t find it on any star chart anymore.”

Wait… a recording?

No- he can’t mean-

And then Jonny holds up a cube and Lyf pales. It’s not the same, of course, probably just a prop, but-

“The Bifrost Incident.”

Oh, fuck no.

“Any school child could tell you about it.” Jonny says, instruments creating a background of music around him. He was also doing a very close imitation of their voice, much to Lyf’s surprise. “The fall of the old order. 200 years of Asgardian hubris, come together in a single epochtifying event.”

Nastya taps their shoulder. “Lyfrassir.”

Lyf flinched, startled, and turned to Nastya. “Y-Yes?”

“This story. Is this…?”

They nod. “I… I think it is. Your friends must have found my report.”

“I see. Are you going to be okay?”

“I think so? It’s… It’s been a while since I’ve thought about it. The fact they’re retelling it kinda caught me off guard.”

Her hand lingers on their arm. “Let me know if you need to leave. Also if you want me to fight them.”

“It’s okay, really.” They give her a smile for reassurance. What happened back then is long behind them, and their friend was here. They didn’t feel this would set off any Bifrost effects either; they’ve had time to adapt to it. If they felt like it was going to be a problem, they’d just step out for a bit. It was fine, the Mechs were just reciting the stupid recording Lyf had left, even though they knew it had been pointless in the end.

“In the chaos that followed,” Jonny continued. “No one really had a chance to see what happened to the train itself… And that’s where I come in.”

And Lyf finds themselves quietly reciting their own name, from what seemed like a lifetime ago, remembering when they made that first recording at the very beginning of the investigation.

They listen as Jonny continues his narration, of course in this instance playing Lyf, since he is reciting their report word for word. Eventually, he starts talking about Odin and Lyf rolls their eyes.

Somehow, they’re not surprised it’s Raphaella who’s playing the part of Odin. She even has an eye-patch over one eye. Admittedly, she has a very good voice, but it’s just the mention of Odin that leaves a sour taste in their mouth. And then it’s Tim, who’s apparently playing Loki. Lyf knew Loki for her infamous sabotage that caused a setback in the Birfost project, as well as the death of Baldur, but knowing what they know now, they felt bad for her. Lyf wishes she knew someone had found out what happened- that they found her story- even if knowing didn’t change the outcome.

(And those words Tim practically screamed out- You can’t erase me. You can’t unmake me- hit Lyf harder than it should have)

Towards the end, another voice joins Tim, and Lyf finds themself surprised to see it’s Marius. Once the song ends, Jonny picks up the narration and Lyf quickly discovers Marius is playing the role of Thor. Nastya makes a comment; that “Marius has always tended towards roles like this. Heracles, Arthur, and so on.”

The next song starts up and Marius starts to sing, and- wow, Lyf has never heard him sound so… angry. They knew Marius for being boisterous, annoying, and very cheery, but this was… different. He plays this role well at least. And then it transitions into the part where Lyf had discovered Sigyn was also on the train. Ashes is singing this one, playing Sigyn of course, and they have to hand it to Ashes; they’ve captured the emotion of the moment well, the transition from whispers of a revolution to a bittersweet reunion.

Things continue through more narration (though Lyf can’t help but grip the arms of the chair at the mention of Odin staring into the camera for ten minutes) and another song, and eventually… it comes to a very familiar moment.

“There’s only one option left, and I really, really don’t want to use it.”

“Oh, Gods- not this.” Lyf groans. They can practically hear the violin already.

They watch as the scene unfolds, exactly as Lyf remembers it. The rest of the Mechs probably got this portion from Marius, Raphaella, and Ivy. They narrow their eyes at Marius the moment he starts speaking.

“Von Raum.” Lyf mutters, exactly at the same time Jonny does.

“Oh dear. Was this how it happened?” Nastya says. Lyf finally looks over to her and she looks amused.

“Yup.” They simply say, shoulders hunching as Jonny asks to be told what happened in the Bifrost, only to be followed up by that stupid song again.

“Goodness. No wonder you hate that song.” Nastya says with a laugh.

“Can’t believe those insufferable bastards made a musical about my trauma.” Lyf grumbles, slumping down in their seat.

“In all fairness, I doubt they even know you’re alive. It’s been a few years since you left Yggdrasil; since you found me out in the void.”

They supposed she was right. For all the Mechs knew, Lyf was dead. Those fools just took their report and left to use it as a story. There was no way they could know Lyf was still alive. And those three- they must have known. They must have been waiting for the moment when Lyf came to them with the Black Box.

But… on the other hand… Lyf won’t be the only one who knows what happened anymore. Yes, they are the last remaining person of Yggdrasil, the only one left who remembers the people, the culture, the history, but their story is being told. Yggdrasil won’t be entirely lost to the void. Lyf supposes there’s some comfort they can take in that.

“They’re telling my story at least.” They admit.

“That’s what they do.” Nastya replies. “We find the stories, we tell them. Something of the people in them live on in that regard.”

Lyf nods, and they almost relax, until the change in tone reminds them of what’s about to happen.

Because in the story, the Black Box is fixed, and what is seen in it is-

Lyf stands from their seat. “I… I’m going to step out for a bit.”

Nastya eyes them. “Is everything alright?”

“It’s just… I know what comes next, and I- I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want it to… to set off anything either. It was bad enough hearing it the first time. I’ll be outside, okay? Won’t go too far.”

They head out and back down to the ground floor to phase out through a wall before any of those hauntingly familiar words can reach them. They need some fresh air.

* * *

The chill of the night air is helping a little as they sit on the ground; their back pressed to the brick wall of the theater. They can hear music still coming from inside, but they can’t hear the words, luckily enough. They’ve had time to adapt and have more control over this new energy inside them, but they don’t want to risk that… that invocation, triggering something. They don’t want to remember it anyway-

_Everything was so clear now, and they see it all. They can’t look away. They feel entirely present in the moment as things tear and twist and claw- it’s like they’re on the train, and all they can do is observe. And they collapse when it’s over, waking up with a headache, feeling strange and hearing static, and the knowing that it was far too late-_

“Your Hair Is Very Pretty!”

Lyf jumps, frantically looking around for who spoke. Their eyes land on a figure standing nearby, dressed in some kind of soldier’s uniform. There’s something strange about its posture and its smile. And it looks almost… like its made of wood? Who the Hel was this?

“I, uh… thanks? I- I don’t-” Suddenly they feel very self conscious. Their hair had gone rainbow sometime after they met Nastya, and although Lyf was used to the sight of themself now, they weren’t as keen on people suddenly pointing it out.

The figure comes over to them and kneels down next to them. It’s still smiling.

“Was It Something I Said?” It asks, cheery. “I Didn’t Mean To Upset You.”

“No, it’s fine. I’m… heh- feeling a bit self conscious. I don’t think it’s pretty.”

“Oh. Well, Why Are You Out Here, Mysterious Stranger?”

They shrug. “It’s, ah… a bit too loud in there. Too much noise. I needed a moment alone. What about you?”

“I’m Getting Souvenirs For My Friends!” It holds up a few paper bags.

“That’s very nice of you. Where are your friends?”

“In The Theater!” Ah. They must be here for the show then. “Is That Why You’re Here Too?”

“Yeah, I’m here for the show, but like I said, I had to step away for a moment. I’ll go back in once I’m a bit calmed down.”

“I Hope You Feel Better. And I Hope You Get To See The Rest Of The Show! It’s Always A Jolly Good Time!”

“You’ve seen this band preform before? The Mechanisms?” Lyf asks.

The figure tilts its head, and then laughs. “Silly- Of Course I Have. They’re My Friends!”

Wait, what?

“They Just Had Me Running A Few Errands While The Show Was Going On.” It explains. “Speaking Of Which, I Should Be Joining Them. It Was Nice To Meet You!”

Lyf watches as it headed off with its bags, and only then does it occur to them that they were likely just talking to the Toy Solider; one of the Mechs. Oh...

Well… that could have been worse.

* * *

So… that was slightly worrying. Nastya wasn’t entirely sure what it was that Lyf didn’t want to hear, but she’d respect their wish to get away for a few minutes (or maybe longer, depending on what this was).

It may be just this story in general, because this was Lyf’s story; their investigation of the train that disappeared in the Bifrost. She had seen how Lyf went pale during the opening lines, clearly not expecting to be hearing this. She had been a bit surprised too. There was nothing on the poster that had indicated this was the story the Mechs would be telling, so she assumed they would be doing one of their older tales or just some random songs.

But Lyf did indicate that it was something in what was about to happen in the story they didn’t want to hear, so...

Nastya watched Jonny, listening to him as his voice got more erratic and frantic- like he was seeing something terrifying. To be fair, was he was describing sounded like a horrible sight. And she also remembers that Lyf had seen this too, since it was their story. Then Jonny’s voice gets quiet, and suddenly the stage is bathed in red light.

Nastya doesn’t understand what’s happening at first, but then Jonny begins a chant; softly at first, but rising slowly in volume. She just watches, and whatever he’s saying- it’s actually giving her chills. It sounds like an invocation of some sort. Soon, Jonny’s just yelling out whatever those words are, and she’s vaguely reminded of Hellfire (Jonny really liked that one) from their Camelot set, but this is more intense than that song. Could this even be called a song?

And then Jonny’s describing how everything is falling apart; the horrible cosmic terror that’s been unleashed. Nastya realizes that this is what Lyf was avoiding, because this is the beginning of the end. This is what happened in the Bifrost that resulted in Yggdrasil’s destruction. Nastya has never heard the full story from Lyf, just a summary, but now she is hearing it being told, and-

The music picks up again and the story goes on.

Nastya can only sit there and listen, and Lyf has yet to come back. She should be concerned- Lyf’s Bifrost energy liked to slip loose when they got stressed, though they’re better about handling it now- but she sits here, listening to the story and beholding it through the translation that is her crew’s music. They were drawn to tragedy, so it made sense they’d be interested in a story like this.

And she knows Lyf has seen all this before. They saw it in the Black Box. They had seen all of this unfold and they were helpless but to observe, because it had already happened and there was nothing that could be done. This is what haunted Lyf’s dreams. This is what changed them. This is why they had to leave behind everything they knew on a moments notice.

She listens as chaos breaks lose aboard the train; people becoming warped and squamous. As Thor and Loki meet one last time. The confrontation between Thor and Odin. Finally, at the end, Loki’s sacrifice, with Sigyn by her side.

By the time it comes all comes to a close, Jonny is reciting Lyf’s final remarks and their plan to leave Yggdrasil and just keep going. This is then followed up by a brief play of transmissions that are just… chaos. She wonders if Lyf heard these as they fled from Yggdrasil, if those echo in their dreams too.

Nastya’s also making a note to herself to make Lyf some hot cocoa later. Or maybe something with those apples they got earlier in the day.

When the set is done, she’s just about to go get up and find Lyf-

“Sorry about that.” Lyf’s voice says from behind her. She gets up from her seat anyway; turning to see them standing there and giving her a sad smile. “Stepped away for longer than I thought. I caught the end as I came back and the screaming kinda… It hurts to hear those transmissions.”

Nastya looks them over, watching for splintering light. “You don’t need to apologize. I understand. The story is done now.”

“I know.”

She steps forward. “Was… Was it really like that? What you saw in the Black Box?”

“...Well, if they were describing the same things I saw in there- Yeah. That’s probably what exposed me to the Bifrost in the first place.”

She almost hugs them, but instead she reaches out and tugs on their sleeve once more. “I'm here, okay? You are safe from all that. Now, come on; I think they’re going to play a couple more songs. That might be better.”

“As long as it’s not about the Bifrost.”

They both return to their seats, meanwhile the Mechs are bickering with each other down bellow on the stage.

“How long have they been at that?” Lyf asks.

“A few minutes.” Then Nastya sees another person join the group. “Oh. I was wondering where TS was at.”

Lyf leans forward to see. “It said it was out getting souvenirs for everyone.”

She looks at them, puzzled. “How do you-”

“I… may or may not have talked with it while I was outside. It didn’t seem to recognize me though.” She watches as the rest of the group notices Toy Solider’s appearance, as it salutes and says it’s just happy to be involved.

Nastya misses being able to see them all together again, acting as if nothing’s changed. They are just as she remembers.

But something is different. She’s not with them, and for all they know, she’s long gone.

“Hey, Lyfrassir?” Nastya asks.

“Yes?”

“In the three years we’ve known each other, I never fully explained to you why I left.”

“No, you never did.” Lyf points out. “But I knew that was not something for me to push, so I never asked. I just assumed that something happened to cause you to leave.”

“And I thank you for not trying to pry that information from me.” She folds her hands across her lap, looking down at them. “I have traveled with them for such a long time, and they are my family. It wasn’t any one of them that caused my departure. That fault rests upon me. My love, Aurora- she’s changed. I have known her since the very moment I awoke in that lab, and as the centuries went by, alterations and improvements were made to the ship, and I felt as though I was losing Aurora. She was changing into someone I didn’t recognize.

“And I didn’t know how to deal with that. I refused to believe it; accept it. One day I took the last piece of the original hull plating, and I left. Jonny tried to stop me, but I didn’t listen to him. So I stepped out the airlock while they traveled on to their next destination, which I believe was the Yggdrasil system. I let myself drift, because I didn’t care anymore. When you found me, I didn’t care where we went. I was being a hypocrite about it all though; you made me realize that. I miss my crew- my family- and I miss Aurora. I regret leaving them.”

Lyf reaches over and sets a hand on top of hers. She meets their eyes. Neither say nothing.

She places her other hand over Lyf’s, squeezing tight.

“It’s okay, _syster_.” They assure her.

The sound of instruments picks up bellow before she can say anything more and they both look to see the Mechs starting up another song. Nastya recognizes the familiar notes of Rose Red as Toy Soldier's voice, joined soon after by Jonny, drifts out into the crowd.

* * *

“I liked him, you know. Marius.” Lyf admits, watching Marius from afar as he skillfully played the violin. The Mechs had moved on to a song called Cinders Song, which Lyf was familiar with, having heard Nastya play it before. “Still do, I guess.”

“Even after all the times he annoyed you with Tales To Be Told and knowing about the train?”

“Like I said, things changed; how I felt about him. Of course, I never wanted to believe that, given my position at the time, but those feelings were there. As for the train- yes, it did infuriate me that he and the others knew, but by that point it wouldn’t have done any good. No one would have believed them anyway unless they saw what I saw. I couldn’t bring myself to hate him; or Ivy, or Raphaella.”

“He grew on you, basically.”

“Yes.” There’s a pause in the music bellow as they start into their last song, one Nastya said they always closed out their shows with. “I doubt he would recognize me now, what with all the...” They trail off, gesturing to their hair and eyes.

“You wouldn’t know.” She looks to the Mechanisms, then back to them. “...Do you want to find out?”

“What?”

“I’ve been thinking. Seeing them all again brought back a lot of memories. You must understand, Lyfrassir; I didn’t expect to see them ever again. Now, here we are. They’re here and… I’ve missed them. I would very much like to speak with them again, Aurora especially. If you’re willing, I would like you to come along.”

“I...” Their voice leaves them for a moment. They knew she had missed her old crew and they were happy she could see them all again. Asking Lyf to meet the rest of the Mechs though- it concerned them a little, because of some of the stories Nastya told, but at this point, nothing worse could happen to them. “Sure.”

“Okay. Let’s go now then. There’s someone I want to speak to first before Jonny and the others.”

“Aurora?” Lyf asks.

The barest trace of a smile crosses her face. “Yes. There are things I need to tell her.”

They nodded and they gathered their things to leave. Nastya left first, but Lyf hung back for a moment.

They look down to the stage as the song ends, watching as the crowd cheers. They shift their gaze over to Marius, And in that moment, they see him happen to look over their way. He stops; his grin falling away. He’s looking right at Lyf.

They stand frozen, watching for any recognition on his face. Part of them hopes that Marius remembers them, that he can recognize them.

‘ _I’m here. Hello, Marius.’_ Lyf says to themself, as if Marius can hear them.

But then someone draws his attention away and Lyf lingers for a moment longer before moving away and out of sight. They’d find out soon enough if he remembered, they supposed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up- reunions in full and the final chapter! This was a moment I had planned from the beginning and now we're finally here!


	9. A Return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A return and a reunion... and life goes on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who's left a kudo or comment on this fic. It's been super fun writing this and I'm glad you all have liked it. 
> 
> <3

At first, Lyf isn’t sure how Nastya intends on locating the _Aurora_. The ship was likely somewhere nearby, but it could be in orbit around this planet for all they know. Nastya has an idea though. When they get back to their own ship, Nastya says they can use their ship’s own computer to find Aurora’s location. Nastya just so happens to know at which frequency the Mechs own personal network registers at, and can track it back to the source.

Nastya is able to locate Aurora; not in orbit or in the same hangar bay they had docked their ship at, but rather in an old abandoned rail yard (how ironic).

They set out towards the rail yard, barely saying a word to each other on the way there. Lyf wonders if Nastya is silently going over what she wants to say to Aurora. It’s understandable that Nastya would want to see her former partner first, but if they remember right, they would have not seen each other for over 80 years. Given what Nastya’s told them, it does sound like there are some things she needs to discuss with Aurora anyway before getting to anything else.

It’s not until they get to the rail yard that Lyf spots the ship among the dilapidated buildings and decides to speak.

“Is that her?” They ask. It’s night, but Lyf’s vision has been enhanced thanks to the Bifrost, allowing them to see more clearly in the dark (along with perceiving a broader spectrum of color). Also Nastya has a flashlight on her and it’s a clear night with a full moon.

“Yes. That’s Aurora.” They can hear the smile in her voice.

They look over the ship as they approach, and she indeed looks to be of a starship class vessel. Lyf remembers some of their own starships from the Yggdrasil system (they had to know these things for their old job) which were admittedly more fancy, but the base elements of a starship were there, from what they could tell. They could also make out what appeared to be a ring around the ship. To what purpose it served, they didn’t know.

Lyf can’t make out a landing ramp or anything though, so the question remains of how they’re going to get in. They’re assuming everyone else is still away for the time being.

“So. How do we get in?” Lyf asks. “Does she know we’re here?”

“Aurora is sentient; she can sense us. But… if she knows we’re here now, she does not acknowledge it. Perhaps she is powered down while the rest of the crew are away?” She says this, but Lyf doesn’t miss the solemn tone that creeps into her voice. “I can get us in still.”

After a few minutes of wandering around the base of the ship, Nastya located some kind of panel hidden under platting She rolled up her sleeve and threaded a thin cable from her wrist. Lyf knew that Nastya’s biology was weird, but it still was kinda unnerving when she did stuff like this. Once she connected the cable to the panel, she leaned forward, placing her hand on the panel.

“Nastya Rasptunia.” She muttered, followed by some kind of code in what they assumed was Cyberian.

Nothing happened for a moment, and Lyf wondered if her trick didn’t work. But then there was a noise and when they investigated, they found a landing ramp had been extended out.

“What did you do?” Lyf asked.

“It’s an old personal access code I have programmed in. Aurora was originally a Cyberian warship, and because I am Cyberian, I can utilize the access code.”

“Ah. Shall we go in then?”

“Yes.”

They both walk up the landing ramp into the ship, and once inside it closes up behind them, along with the door.

Lyf takes this chance to look around. They don’t know what they were expecting; everything looks to be pretty standard, as well as empty. Everything is quiet and still.

“Are you sure none of the others are back yet?”

“They’re likely off celebrating and drinking and causing trouble like they usually do after a show.” She’s looking around as if confused by the silence. “Follow me.”

They follow her down the corridors to… well, they don’t know where they’re going. They’re going somewhere though. Nastya walks at a slightly quicker pace a few steps ahead of them. Lyf occasionally looks around, noting that the ship seems much bigger on the inside. There are some areas that look worn and in need of repairs, and they wonder if anyone’s seen to that. Nastya had taught them a thing or two about how to properly conduct ship maintenance in their time together.

At one point, as they’re going through one of the corridors, Lyf hears a strange noise and stops. They suddenly get the feeling they’re being watched. They turn to a hole in the wall, wondering if this is where the noise came from.

“Lyfrassir?” They hear Nastya call back.

“I, uh...” They look to her, having stopped a few feet ahead of them, and back to the hole in the wall. “I heard something, from here maybe?”

Lyf hears the noise again, and it’s then that they notice a shape emerge from the hole in the wall. No, it would be more accurate to say something oozed out from there. It appeared to be something somewhere between a cat and an octopus, and Lyf takes a step back ans it moves down the wall, onto the floor, and looks up at them, making a bleeping noise.

“What the Hel is that?!” Lyf exclaims.

Nastya walks over, unfazed by the creature. “It’s just an octokitten. They live on the ship.” She picks it up. “Hello, Omni.”

“That thing is a natural inhabitant?”

“Not necessarily, but they’ve acclimated well enough. Tim mostly takes care of them.” She holds the octokitten out to Lyf. “Would you like to hold Omni? The otokittens aren’t some squamous thing from between realities. Promise.”

Lyf takes another look at the octokitten, which is just staring at them. It doesn’t look as horrifying as anything they’ve seen in the Black Box.

“Um, sure.”

Lyf holds out their hands and Nastya transfers the octokitten over. It’s actually more accurate to say it oozes over into Lyf’s hands, wrapping its tentacles around their forearms. It starts to make a sound- oh, it appears to be purring.

“Oh.” They mutter, holding the octokitten close. It nuzzles their chest.

They continue on, octokitten still in their arms, until Nastya brings them to a seemingly ordinary metal looking door. She hesitates in front of it, pressing a hand to the metal like she did to the panel outside, but more reverently. Lyf almost didn’t ask, for fear of ruining the moment, but they have never been aboard this ship so they are admittedly curious.

“Where are we now?” They ask.

“This is the door to the engine room.” She replies.

It clicks in Lyf’s mind, remembering the importance of this room. “Oh. Oh, I should- Should I wait out here?”

To their surprise, she shakes her head. “No. I would like you to meet her. Aurora.”

They take a moment to process this before responding. “I… I’d be honored.”

Nastya opens the door first, Lyf following after her. The inside of the room looks a lot like the engine room of the ship they’d been traveling in together, but bigger; more machinery, more complicated pieces and parts. They knew Nastya was the sole engineer, and to think she took care of all of this all by herself- it was impressive.

They made their way to the center, where they found a large setup of various consoles and devices. Nastya stopped short of them.

“Hello, love.”

A moment passed, and then the lights in the room flickered on, almost as if something just woke up, or as if in surprise. Lyf hung back with their octokitten, watching the exchange quietly.

“No, you’re not experiencing any glitches in your system.” Nastya says into the empty air, stepping closer to the consoles. Lyf knows better though; she is speaking with her partner. “I am really here. I am home. I… I have so much to apologize for, I know. I won’t make excuses for it; I acted pretty selfishly when I left.”

Something in the lights flickered again.

“I know, I know. I left so suddenly and without warning- I hurt you by doing so. I refused to acknowledge that you’ve changed, but I’ve since realized my error. I should never have done that; I should never have left. I shouldn’t have left _you_ , my love. You and me, we’ve both changed, haven’t we?”

The console lit up, and a low hum started to resonate through the room.

“Oh, my dearest, it’s okay. Like I said, I was wrong to think that, because you’re still here. We’re both still here. If you are angry at me, I understand, and I am not sure I deserve to be forgiven for leaving, but know that I do not intend on leaving again. I am back and here to stay.”

The console glowed brighter and the humming raised in pitch. It almost sounded like a song. Nastya sniffled, and Lyf saw her caress a hand over the console.

“Yes, we will have to discuss this further, but I missed you too. I missed you so much.” There was a flickering in the light coming from the console. “Hm? Oh, yes. I brought someone new.” She turns to them and gestures them to come over. “She’s asking after you.”

“Ah, yes. Of course.”

Lyf obliges, though when they get close enough they can see tears in her eyes. They catch a smile on her face before she looks back to the console.

“This is Lyfrassir Edda; from the Yggdrasil system. They found me when I was alone in the void, as they were fleeing the destruction of their home, and we’ve been traveling together since.”

They look over the console, unsure how how to proceed. So they just… speak.

“Hello, Aurora.” Lyf says in greeting. “There’s not much to say about myself aside from what Nastya has already said, and these past few years have been… difficult, but she’s been a good friend, and she’s taught me some things as well. She’ s told me a lot about you, too. It’s good to finally meet you.”

There’s a series of beeps and noises from the console, nothing that Lyf understands. Nastya responds to it instead.

“Yes, the very same. Oh? Marius was? Oh dear. Well, I’m sure he’ll be glad to see Lyf again.” She turns to Lyf for a moment and gives them a wink. “Speaking of which, how has the rest of the crew been? I hope they haven’t treated you poorly in my absence. Yes, we know there was a show tonight; we were there.”

Lyf was curious about the mention of Marius, but doesn’t say anything about it. “If there’s anything that needs fixing, I can try and help. With Nastya’s permission of course. You’re likely a different system than the ship me and Nastya have been traveling in, but I’ll give it a try.”

More beeps and sounds from the console, then translated by Nastya. “She says she’s fine, though there are a few places that could use some work.” She’s about to say something else, but she’s interrupted by Aurora. “What? What about the- wait, they’re back?”

“Does she mean your crew?” Lyf asks.

“Yes. They got back a few minutes ago while we were talking, and...” She lets Aurora relay another message to her. “And apparently Jonny’s on his way down here for some reason?”

“The one with the lightning marks around his eyes?”

“Oh please, that’s mostly makeup. He just has it done up all the time to be dramatic.”

“Regardless. He’s not going to shoot me or anything, is he? He seems pretty trigger happy, based on the stories you’ve told me.”

“You’re immortal now, you don’t need to be concerned. But I won’t let him, don’t worry.”

At that moment, they hear a door open, likely the same one they came through. Lyf jumps, shuffling behind Nastya as she turns to the noise. They may be immortal, and it’s likely just one person that’s come in, but they’re still nervous about meeting any other Mechanism that’s not Nastya (or Marius, Raphaella, and Ivy). There’s the brief noise of footsteps, and then a pause. There’s the sound of something being armed, and the footsteps resume.

“Alright, whoever’s in here you’ve got five seconds to-”

Someone comes out from the tangle of machinery, holding out a weapon in front of them, and Lyf recognizes the person as Jonny. He does look about ready to shoot someone, the same kind of wild grin on his face from earlier in the night, but the second he sees Nastya, that expression melts away.

His weapon clatters to the ground as he drops it.

“Nastya…?” He whispers, disbelieving and shocked. It’s jarringly different to the person Lyf had seen earlier singing about drunk space pirates and imitating them in a story about how their world ended.

Nastya smiles, taking a step towards him. “Hello, Jonny.”

He stares at her, and she does not move. Finally, Jonny reaches a hand out and grabs hold of her, pulling her close into a hug and pressing his head into her shoulder. Nastya seems not react at first, but then she returns the embrace.

“Jonny...” She mutters.

Lyf remembered Nastya always speaking of Jonny as if he was an older brother. If they remembered correctly, she had mentioned that he had been mechanized before her, but he was there for her during her first years aboard the Aurora, when Carmilla was still around. Out of any of the Mechs she had talked about, it seemed to Lyf like she was fond of Jonny the most. They wondered if she had missed him as much as Aurora, if they had that deep of a bond.

The octokitten in Lyf’s arms, Omni, bleeps and moves to their shoulders. They give it a pat on the head.

“Let’s let them have their moment, little one.” They whisper quietly to it.

“Where the fuck have you been?” Jonny asks, his voice muffled by how he has his head still pressed against Nastya’s shoulder. He still sounds a little shocked.

“I’ve been places.” She replies, her voice calm. “Traveling. But I’m here now. I’m so sorry; I shouldn’t have left.”

“God damn right you shouldn’t have. But it was your choice, I wasn’t- I didn’t notice you were-” He raises his head and cups Nastya’ face in his hands. “I fucking missed you. I didn’t think you were coming back.”

She leans forward so that their foreheads are touching. “Didn’t think I was, but I made a mistake. I should never have left my family.”

Lyf smiles, touched by this reunion. They’re happy for her, truly.

And then Jonny’s gaze shifts onto them as he looks up- “And who the fuck are you?”

Their smile drops.

“Jonny...” Nastya warns stepping back toward Lyf.

They scowl and cross their arms. They still have some annoyance left from the whole “you made a musical out of my trauma/end of my world” thing. “I know we haven’t met, but I doubt it would be too hard to figure out, given you stole my voice for your story.”

“Wait, a minute...” He finally gets it. “Are you that cop Marius was moping over?”

“Please. I’m not an inspector anymore. Haven’t been in three years. Wait- Marius has been moping over _me_?”

“Enough. Yes, this is Lyfrassir.” Nastya says, looping an arm around their neck (which caused Omni to move back to their arms) and pulling them close. “They’re my sibling now.”

Surprise flashes across Jonny’s face, and then he laughs. “I bet even Ivy couldn’t have predicted that! How did you two even find each other? We knew there was a chance you made it out of Yggdrasil, Edda, but still!”

“I found her floating in space after I left the system.” Lyf explains. “I took her aboard and we decided to travel together.”

“Well, would you look at that. What are the chances? And now she’s adopted you as a stray?”

“It’s called bonding, you fool.” Nastya retorts. “And I’ve adopted them as a sibling. Besides, there’s something else; they cannot die now, like us.”

At the mention of their immortality, Lyf watches as Jonny looks to them and then back to Nastya. “Are they- Is this the Doc’s doing?”

“Don’t be ridiculous. She didn’t do this to them; I would know if that was the case. You can probably guess what did though.”

He gives them another look and nods. “Guess I can, since you’ve got a mess of rainbows in your hair. Well, in regards to your immortality, you’re in good company. The best company, which includes yours truly; your humble captain.”

“First mate.” Nastya corrects.

“Watch it, you.” Jonny retorts, poking Nastya in the shoulder. She’s grinning, and Lyf thinks that’s a wonderful sight. “But, ah… Aurora knows you’re back I take it?”

“She does. We talked a little before you got here and introduced her to Lyfrassir.”

“Good. That’s… that’s good. I, um...” He huffs out a breath. “I always hoped you were out there somewhere, Nastya; always hoped you’d come home. Just didn’t think you’d be traveling out here with Edda of all people. By the way, former inspector- nice hair.”

Lyf quietly gives him the finger, but adds, “Yog-Sothoth said no rights for Lyf, ate my home, and made me slightly eldritch.”

Jonny laughed again. “I like you, Edda.”

“Aurora said the rest of the crew was aboard by now. Do they know I’m here?” Nastya speaks up again.

“No, but they’re all milling about in the common room last time I checked. I was just down here, for… for reasons, but I saw the door was open a bit and thought someone snuck aboard. Do you- we can head over there if you feel up to it. Everyone would like to see you again, I’m sure.”

“That… would be great, actually.” Nastya looked over at Lyf. “Lyfrassir?”

They shrugged. “They’re all going to find out I’m here anyway. Might as well.”

“Oh right.” Jonny cuts in again. “Marius is going to lose it when he sees you’re not dead. Is it true he tried to flirt with you via violin?”

Lyf flips him off again.

* * *

The common room is full of activity; most drinking, some playing cards, some playing music. The sight chases away a tiny bit of the cold that flows through her.

‘ _Home sweet home.’_ Nastya thinks to herself.

Lyf appears to be nervous still, so they elect to stay back a little for the time being. Nastya just tells them that they’re safe here, but they’re feel free to make their way over when they’re ready. Meanwhile, Jonny looks at her, gives a smirk, and then pulls a harmonica from his pocket. Nastya sighs; she’s not surprised.

Jonny plays a note on said harmonica, which manages to catch the attention of Brian.

“I thought we took all your harmonic-” Brian starts, but his words stop dead as he sees her. He says nothing as he rises from his chair. He looks about as shocked as Jonny- fair enough. She’s been gone for much longer than three years, and she was close friends with Brian. They often worked together when it came to matters of the Aurora, and she trusted him as the pilot.

Everyone else has probably noticed her as well, everything going quiet and the music coming to a stop. She can feel everyone’s gaze on her.

“Is… Is that you, Nastya?” Brian asks. She nods and smiles, and he closes the distance between them to give her a brief hug.

“I told you she was still out there!” Jonny says when Brian pulls back.

“Yes... Nastya, are you- are you staying this time?”

“I am.” She replies.

The others have gathered around at this point and seem equally happy that she has returned. Ashes offers her a drink. Tim ruffles her hair. Toy Soldier chips in with “It Is So Good To See You Again!” Ivy says her predictions had run far too low for this scenario and she’d since given up on them, but she’s glad she was wrong. Raphaella’s wings flutter as she expresses how unexpected this was.

And as for Marius-

“Nastya!” He exclaims, taking Nastya up in a hug and spinning her around once. She laughs when he sets her down. He may be a liar half the time, overly trusting and annoying, but out of them all, he was the most energetic; a beaming ray of sunshine who did care for them all. He was as much family as the rest.

“Good to see you too, Marius.” She says.

“It’s been what? At least 80 years? How did you even get here?”

“It’s a long story.”

He laughs at that. “I bet! I missed having my rival violinist around.”

“You may have another rival besides me, though they’re still learning and they’re more prone to playing cello.”

“Huh?”

“I didn’t come here alone.”

With that, she guides Marius’s attention over to Lyf, who’s been hanging back while all this was going on. They’re standing against a wall off to one side (Omni isn’t with them any more; must have slithered off to somewhere), idly looking around. They seem to realize they’re being watched and look over to her and Marius. They blink, and then push themselves off the wall to walk over.

At this point, everyone else has looked to see what’s going on. Nastya hears a quiet “Is that…?” from Raphaella as Marius steps away from Nastya and toward Lyf.

“Hey.” They offer quietly.

“Hi...” Marius seems unsure about what to say. “You, uh… You look different.”

Lyf nods. “Yes… You look about the same as I remember. So… you knew about the train.”

“Yeah, we did, to an extent. We didn’t know the full scope of it. Look, I didn’t-”

“It’s okay. It’s okay, Marius. I’ve had plenty of time to think about it. By the time I realized what was going on, I doubt anyone would have believed me. I may not have gotten out in time if I tried. And while I might have believed you if you told me, who would have taken the word of prisoners? It was far too late by that point anyway; the train had been in Midgard for a few days already. I’m not mad at you for that.”

“Oh, well… thanks? I was kinda going for something else though; that I wish I could have taken you with me when we left. I should have. I didn’t want to leave you there, but I did.”

Lyf blushes a little, and- oh, are they blushing rainbow? That’s a new one.

“You wanted to take me with… Oh. Um, for the record,” They step forward, placing a hand on Marius’s arm. “I should have quit my job.”

Marius lets out a short laugh, and then he pulls Lyf into a hug. They seem to melt into it, holding onto him in return

“Oh! You Were At The Theater Earlier!” Toy Soldier points out, interrupting the moment.

Lyf pulls back from Marius, looking over at it. “Nice to see you again. I’m guessing you’re the Toy Soldier.”

“Wait. You saw Lyf at the show? Why didn’t you say anything?” Marius asked it.

“I Didn’t Realize It Was The Former Inspector!”

“Wait, but that also means-” He looks back to Lyf. “That was you I saw at the show. I wasn’t just seeing things. How did you even find us?”

“Mostly happenstance, but also because of Nastya.”

“After I left, Lyfrassir found me.” She explains to everyone. “They were leaving Yggdrasil and they found me in the process; brought me in from the void. Having nothing better to do, I decided to travel with them. They’re a good friend. We had stopped here to refuel our ship and I found a poster one of you must have put up. It was good to see you all preforming again.”

“As nice and stupidly sappy as this all is,” Jonny cuts in. “You intending on staying with us or what, Edda?”

“I mean, I’m not the same as some of you might remember, but I don’t have anywhere else to go. I’d like to stay, I think.” Lyf responds.

“I would prefer it if they did.” Nastya adds. “That’s why I asked them to come with me. They’re a fine musician too and it would be nice to have another pair of hands to help with repairs. After traveling together too, I would rather not leave a good friend and fellow immortal alone.”

“Wait, you’re what now?!” Marius exclaims, looking at Lyf with surprise and confusion.

Lyf fixes her a look and she just shrugs with an amused smile. “Well, it’s true.”

Yes, it was good to be home.

* * *

After Ivy and Raphaella get through with asking Lyf a bunch of questions (and Raphaella’s insistence to run some tests on them), the crew helps transfer stuff from their ship to the Aurora. Afterward the ship in agreed to be retrofitted as a second hauler. Lyf is given their own room, and Nastya reclaims the engine room for herself. Things seem to return slowly to how they were before after that.

Nastya still spends most of her time in the engine room, once again becoming known as the resident cryptid, but she does have extended conversations with Aurora and Jonny about things. She tells stories from her travels with Lyf sometimes during meals, and she does spend a little more time with other members of the crew.

Lyf, meanwhile- They split most of their time between hanging around in the library and helping with repairs. Nastya teaches them how to apply the basics of ship maintenance to Aurora and they officially are given the title of bosun with her blessing. Lyf ends up striking up a good friendship with Aurora in the process as well. The fact that they play an instrument quickly becomes apparent to the rest of the Mechs and they are quickly integrated into the band, though Nastya and Lyf still do compose their own music as a duet (and they still surprise Marius with a violin duet at one point).

One night, a week after returning to the Aurora and the Mechanisms, Nastya couldn’t sleep, but was enjoying listening to a song from her love regardless. She hoped it would but her to sleep, but even if it didn’t it was nice.

There was suddenly a pause in the resonance, causing her to sit up from her nest of pillows and blankets.

“Aurora? What is it, love?” She asked aloud. A series of beeps from the console nearby was her answer. “Oh. Lyf is outside? Let them in.”

She heard the door open a moment later and Aurora returns to her song, but not as loud. Nastya reclines back on the pillows and blankets and waits.

“Nastya?” Comes their voice.

From where she lays, she leans her head back to see them standing nearby. Their hair is in a simple braid for sleeping. “Good evening, Lyfrassir. What brings you here? Are you well?”

“Um… I… I can’t sleep.”

She sits up. “Ah. Nightmare?”

“Kinda. It wasn’t too bad, but...”

Nastya understands. She pats a space beside her, gesturing for them to come over. They do so after a moment’s hesitation, sitting down and finding a cozy pillow to lie against.

“I can’t sleep either.” She says to them. “Aurora’s trying to help by singing.”

“That’s nice of her. I… I was going to try and find Marius, but I- I don’t want to bother him if he’s sleeping.”

“You two have gotten rather close recently, I’ve observed.”

Lyf blushes rainbow and tries to bury their face in a pillow. Nastya still remembers the day she walked into the med bay to ask Marius about something, only to find them both sitting on one of the beds; Marius reading something while Lyf rested their head on his shoulder. Their eyes had been closed and they held Marius’s hand in theirs. Marius hadn’t seemed to notice her then so she retreated back out of the med bay.

“This seems very familiar, doesn’t it?” She says to them.

They raise their head from the pillow. “Yes… it does.”

She knows what they’re talking about; the first time they came to her after a nightmare. “Are you cold?”

They nod, and she finds a blanket for them, pulling it over their body.

“Thanks.” They mutter.

“That reminds me-” Nastya gets up and goes to where she has a couple extra blankets folded up. On top of them sat a cloak. She picks up the cloak and brings it over to them. “I hope you’ll forgive me for taking this from you.”

“I was wondering where my cloak went off to.” They take it from her. “Almost thought some of the octokittens made off with it- wait. What’s this?” She watches as they pull a portion of the cloak into view. “Is this a patch? It looks like the one on your coat.”

“Correct, Lyfrassir.” Nastya confirms. “I sewed that patch in for you. Everyone one of us on this ship- this crew, this family- has one. It’s about time you received one as well.”

Lyf stares at the patch, and then they sit up. There are tears shimmering in their silver eyes. “I… I don’t know what to say… Can I hug you instead?”

She nods and takes them into her arms. They do feel cold, but she doesn’t mind.

“Thank you, _syster_.”

“Of course, _мой брат_ _._ _”_

They draw away from her and lay back down. “I’m glad I met you, Nastya.”

“I am too.” She lays down beside them. “I did mean what I said when we first got back here, that it was a mistake for me to leave. But meeting you was the one good thing that came out of it, and you helped me see I was wrong in my decision. Thank you for that, Lyf.”

They smile, weakly as their eyes slip closed. Aurora’s singing just a bit louder now, for the both of them.

And she closes her eyes too to listen.


End file.
